A dark kind of hunger
by The Young Blood Chronicles
Summary: Being rewritten under my new fanfic 'Fixation'.
1. Chapter 1: waking up

"_A dark hunger": A Hannibal fan fiction (not sure about the title yet)_

_Hello, this is my very first fan fiction, I hope you guys like it! Please review? I would like to know what you think :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Hannibal in any way. (Wish I did though.)_

**Chapter 1**

I woke up to beeping noises and the sterile smell of a hospital room around me. I could feel a needle in my arm and a tube for air in my nose. My entire body was sore and I had a headache as massive as the wall of China. When I opened my eyes, I saw the white ceiling of the hospital room and had to close my eyes a bit and blinked a few times to get used to the bright light. Why was I in the hospital?

I then heard another person's breathing; I was not alone in this room, as I first had thought. I tilted my head a bit and looked to the right side of my bed. Next to my bed, in a chair, was sitting a man I_ thought_ I had never seen before. But I couldn't be entirely sure, as I didn't remember much at all. I did know my name. _Victoria Harris._ I also knew my age. _28 years old._ But that was pretty much all I could remember. I didn't remember anything else of my life or why I was in the hospital.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I looked at the man beside my bed again. He had dark brown, blackish curls and rectangular glasses. He had a slight beard and bruises under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept much as of lately. He was dressed in a plaid shirt and a pair of jeans. I guessed him around the age of thirty.

I felt a tickle in my throat and coughed, causing the man to look up from the book he was reading. As he looked me in the eyes, I noticed his eyes were a calming greyish blue. He was pretty good looking, I thought. _Handsome_ even.

When he saw I was awake, he put a piece of paper between the pages of his book and closed it. "You're finally awake" he said. His voice had the same, calming effect on me as his eyes had, and it suppressed the little anxiety and panic I was starting to feel.

"How long was I out?" I asked, my voice raspy. "And what happened, why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" he asked me, his eyebrows slightly raised.

I shook my head and he started to explain. "When I was driving home from one of my classes, you just ran out of the woods and ran to the road, right in front of my car, covered in cuts and bruises. You were lucky I was able to stop, or your injuries would have been worse than they are now. You then came up to my car and jumped in the passenger seat, shouting to me to drive away as fast as I could. And then you fainted. I drove you to the hospital, in which you've been unconscious for the past six days. Do you remember what happened before you jumped in front of my car?" he asked me.

I swallowed and shook my head. "I don't remember anything. I only know my name and how old I am, that's it."

I winced in pain as my headache got worse because I was desperately trying to remember what happened to me.

"Hey, hey it's okay, don't strain yourself, it will come back to you sooner or later, don't force it" he shushed me and stood up from his chair and came to stand at the side of my bed.

I calmed down as I gazed up to him into his eyes. He gazed back, waiting for some sort of answer. I nodded my head.

"Now then," he said smiling, "what's your name?"

"Victoria Harris" I told him.

"And how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-eight."

"All right then," he said, still smiling. "I'm Will Graham. It's nice to meet you, though I wish it would have been under more pleasant circumstances."

That made me laugh. "Likewise" I said.

He has a very nice personality, I thought. I felt like I could really trust him.

"I will go and fetch a nurse or something, let them know you're awake" he said. He started walking to the door, looked back to me once more and walked out the door.

I laid my head back on my pillow and sighed. What has happened to me and why can't I remember? I don't have a bandage around my head, so I don't think I have a head injury. Then how the hell did I get amnesia? Was what happened to me so bad my mind just doesn't want to deal with it and locked it away in some dark corner of my memory?

I knew right then, I was going to remember, some way or another, what happened. Not just out of curiosity, but also because of my own safety. If I was covered in cuts and bruises, I might have been attacked, and I might have seen the face of the attacker. So if I could remember what happened, I might also remember the face of the attacker and put him to justice, so he can't finish what he started, if his intentions were to kill me.

I made a promise to myself that I would remember. But not today, I would do as Will Graham told me.


	2. Chapter 2: A new home

**Chapter 2: A new home**

Will returned after a short five minutes and had brought a nurse with him. The name tag on her shirt read 'Laura'.

Laura the nurse walked up to me and checked the machines around me. She told me I was healing very well. Apparently I had a few broken ribs and a lot of cuts and bruises, but all together it wasn't that bad. She pulled the tube out of my nose, which I was thankful for, as I've always hated those things. The needle in my hand went out as well.

"When can I leave?" I asked.

"When the doc comes around tomorrow, you should ask him, but I think you should be able to leave tomorrow evening. But still ask the doctor to be sure all right?" she answered me before leaving the room in quite a hurry because of her pager that was beeping like crazy.

Will then turned to me, looking me over before speaking, the first time since he had re-entered the room.

"Do you have a place to stay?" he asked me.

"I don't know, I don't remember having a home, any relatives or friends." I said, looking away from him, my mood saddening. "I just can't remember anything" I whispered.

I heard him swallow, looked over at him and saw how he opened and shut his mouth a few times, hesitating to say something.

I watched him do that and wondered what he was trying to say and why it was so hard to tell me. It was as if he didn't really want to tell me, but felt like he should. Or maybe he was just shy.

The latter seemed to be true because when he spoke, finally finding his courage to do so, he blushed slightly. Someone else might not have noticed it, but I did, as I was watching him closely. I wondered if I had always done that, staring at people to find out more information from their expressions.

"You… you're always … welcome to stay at my place … if you like" he said softly. "At least, until you regain your memory of course. And when you do, we can see what you could do from there."

I felt my eyebrows raise at his proposal, I hadn't been expecting _that._ "I really don't want to be a bother –" I started, but he cut me off.

"You wouldn't be one, don't worry about that" he said. "So, what do you think?"

Will really was a sweet guy, but yet, I didn't know anything about him, except for his name. But that's the same way in his case; he didn't knew anything about me either, yet he was proposing me to stay with him until I retrieved my memory.

I don't know if I was completely sane at the time, but I felt like I could trust him, so I replied: "Yes I would like to, thank you very much"

He smiled shyly at me, which reminded me of the way he blushed when asking me.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" I asked him.

He raised his eyebrows at me and told me I could.

"Why did you blush when telling me I could stay at your place?"

He raised his eyebrows even further and asked me: "I did?" I nodded at him and he said: "I didn't know I did so I don't know why I did it, sorry for not being able to answer your question."

He then walked to the window, turning his head away from me.

"It's okay" I told him hesitantly.

He continued to watch out of the window, not saying anything for a while. I knew he wasn't telling the me the truth. I could tell from the way he looked away, didn't say anything on the subject anymore, not saying anything anymore at all.

But I decided to let it go, if he wasn't comfortable with telling me.

I changed the subject. "Where do you live anyway?" I asked him.

"Wolf trap, Virginia." He said, still looking out of the window. It was dark outside, visiting hours would soon be over, I guessed.

I didn't reply, just looked out of the window, for as far as I could see of course. I could see lights of a city in the distance, and I wondered what city that could be. I also wondered in what hospital I was in. Just as I was about to ask him, he turned back to me and started speaking.

"Look I have to go, I have an evening lecture to give" he said. "I will see you again tomorrow all right?"

I nodded my head. "See you tomorrow."

He smiled and after a quick 'bye' he exited the door.

I turned back to the window, looking at the lights in the distance again. I found out something of him; he gives lectures, I thought. But what about? I will ask him later, together with all my other questions I had about him. Hell, I was going to live with him, I want to know something more about him than only his name. I think that's a bit logical.

As my mind was still running, I felt my eyelids go heavy and closed them, falling into a deep sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Is this home?

_Hello everyone! This is the third chapter already! I know the chapters are still short, but as the story progresses they'll get longer, I promise! It's just that this is the first fanfic I've ever written, so I'm still new to all this you know. But do stick with me! I have a few good ideas for this story so I hope you'll keep reading! Please review or maybe even fav? I really want to know if I'm doing a good job. So this was my little ramble, let's get on with the story! _

_Oh and please, don't take any grammar or spelling mistakes too hard on me, English isn't my mother tongue, so there will be some mistakes here and there. I apologize in advance. _

**Chapter 3: Is this home, or is this something else? **

_I was dreaming, that was something I was sure of. But what I wasn't sure of, is what this dream could possibly mean. At this point, it wasn't a bad dream at all, a nice one even. I was wearing a long white summer dress and was floating on the ocean. I looked around me and all I saw was water. It was dark outside, past midnight, and it was a clear evening which meant you could see all the stars. It was nice, very nice. The water wasn't cold at all, and when you tried to see where the ocean ended and the starry night sky begun, you simply couldn't. It felt like being all alone in the universe with the stars. To some people this would be a very scaring thought, but to me, it felt nice. I felt peaceful. _

_But, of course, the peacefulness couldn't last. I was dreaming after all. I started to feel nervous, anxious, like I knew something was coming. _

_I then heard a voice talking to me, I couldn't see where the voice came from, but I knew it was there all the same. _

"_Please don't be afraid" he said, the voice sounding male, and with an accent I couldn't place. "You can trust me." _

_I tried to scream when I felt a hand slip around my ankle, starting to pull me down, but no sound came from my mouth. _

"_Please trust me." _

_How can I trust someone who is drowning me? I thought. The moment my head went under water, the hand let go of my ankle. I tried to get my head out of the water again, but I couldn't break the surface, it was like bumping against a glass wall that wouldn't break. I was running out of air and gave up trying, in the knowledge I wouldn't be able to win anyway. I accepted my fate, and started to sink, deeper and deeper into the ocean. When things around me started to get darker, and I started to black out, I felt arms slipping around me. Holding me tight against him, hugging me, in an almost protective way, like a lover would do. _

"_Trust me." He said again, and I felt lips on my forehead. _

I woke up feeling disorientated. At first I thought I was still drowning and gasped for air, jerking up.

Almost immediately I felt strong hands on my shoulders, pushing me back down to the bed.

"Shhhh everything is okay, it was just a dream, no one can hurt you" Will said to me, trying to calm me down.

As I looked up into his eyes I felt him succeeding and eventually I calmed down as I remembered the day before and realized I was still in the hospital room and not drowning somewhere in the ocean.

Will held me by my shoulders until he was sure I had calmed down. "You okay?" he asked me.

I nodded my head and he let go.

"Bad dream?" I nodded my head again. "Could it maybe have been a memory?" he asked.

"I don't think so, it was surreal" I replied.

He nodded his head and let the subject go, knowing I didn't want to talk about it any further, for which I silently thanked him.

The dream might have been surreal, but it could have been a memory after all, maybe in the form of a metaphor. Because I felt like I had heard the voice of that man before, I just couldn't remember where or when, or to who the voice belonged to. I thought of the voice with more concentration to list what the specifics of the voice could tell me.

First of all, which was the most obvious one, the voice spoke with an accent. It could be European, but I wasn't sure of which country.

Second of all, the voice spoke almost in a polite way, suggesting that the person the voice belonged to was polite, and hated rudeness.

Third of all, he appeared to care for me deeply, but I couldn't be sure of that hence he was trying to drown me. But why the hell did I feel safe, peaceful and even loved in the final moments, when I felt his lips on my forehead? It made no sense at all. How could I trust or even love someone who was trying to drown me?

The worst part of it all was that I couldn't remember to whom the voice belonged to and the role he played in my life.

It made me very, very irritated to not remember anything. I really wished I could just -

"Victoria?" Will snapped me out of my thoughts. I then noticed there was someone with us in the room, someone in a white lab coat, probably my doctor.

He smiled at me as I said "I'm sorry, I guess I was lost in my thoughts for a moment."

"Happens to the best of us" he grinned. "But seriously though, how are you feeling?" he asked me, his grin turning into a face of concern.

Will was watching me when I answered the doctor. I noticed he didn't look him in the eyes, which he had also done with Laura the nurse. Not too fond of eye contact, I assumed.

"I feel better today than when I woke up yesterday. I still have a bit of a headache, and my body is still a bit sore, but in short, I'm feeling fine." I answered him.

"Good, very good! You should be able to do the rest of your recovery at home, so I'll go and sign the papers and then you're good to go" he smiled at me. "Oh and don't worry about your amnesia, your memories will return soon enough." he said before walking out the door.

About ten minutes later, a nurse came in, telling us I was free to go. She handed me my clothes from the night I was brought in, but one look at them and I knew instantly I could never wear them again. They were covered in dirt, cuts and blood.

Will must have foreseen this, as he silently handed me a bag before taking the ruined clothes from me and threw them away in the trashcan. I looked inside the bag and went into the bathroom to get dressed. When I came back out again I was dressed in what were probably clothes from Will. I was wearing a grey sweatpants and a plaid shirt open over a black T-Shirt, all too big for me. But that didn't matter, it was the gesture that counted the most to me. He was offering his clothes to me, and he didn't even know me. That meant a lot to me. Besides, the clothing felt very comfy.

I looked at him and said "Thank you for the clothes." I smiled.

"Not a problem at all" he replied, also smiling. "You ready to go?"

"Yes. Let's go, I hate hospitals." I said.

After a minute of gathering my stuff we left the hospital to go to Wolf Trap.

While driving, I asked him one of my questions.

"What are your lectures about?" I asked him.

"Sorry what?"

"Yesterday you told me you lecture classes, so you're a teacher. But what are your lectures about?" I asked.

"Oh. Um... Profiling for the FBI" he answered.

"Really? Please can I attend one? I'd really love to hear you teach a class."

He seemed surprised by that, but in a pleasant way. "Yes of course, if that's what you want?"

I smiled and nodded my head at him.

He smiled back and we remained silent for the rest of the way to his house.

When we arrived, I immediately loved the place. It was a charming little house, with a lot of nature surrounding it.

We stepped out of the car and walked up to the house. Will opened the door and stepped back. At first I was wondering why he had stepped back. But when I was greeted by a lot of dogs, I understood. Will grinned at me in a sly way as the dogs all tried to greet me in their own way.

"They like you" he grinned.

"I like them too" I said smiling. I was telling him the truth, I genuinely liked the dogs. I petted and hugged them all.

After five minutes of petting the dogs, we went inside. We entered a small but cozy living space, with a bed in one corner of the room.

"I know it's not much, but I hope it's enough... You can sleep in the bed and I'll sleep on the couch." he said.

"Don't worry, it's perfect. I don't need much." I said to him, a small smile on my lips. "I really like it. It's cozy."

He smiled awkwardly and went outside to leave me alone for a few minutes, to let me get used to the house, and to give me some time to be alone with my thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4: Nice to meet you

_Hello my fellow Fannibals! I can't believe this is already the fourth chapter! I have only just started writing the story and now I'm already at chapter four! Wow, just wow._

_Please review, follow,… Pretty please? C:_

**Chapter 4: Nice to meet you**

As Will was outside of the house, I realized I had nothing to unpack. I didn't have any clothes, toiletries or personal objects. I didn't have any money either, so I couldn't buy anything new. _Damn you amnesia. _

Could I ask will about it? He has already done a lot for me though he didn't even know me. But asking him for money felt wrong somehow. But the fact that I needed clothes remained…

Will re-entered the house, with slightly red cheeks, as it was pretty cold outside. "I just realized, you don't have any clothes, or anything else." He said. "Do you wish to go shopping for some or something? After that I have a lecture to give, so you could join me and attend one, as you asked earlier?" He suggested.

"Shopping and then listening to one of your lectures then?" I asked, to which he nodded. "Sounds good to me, but are you sure, I don't have any money, so –"

"Don't worry about that" he cut me off and I looked down. He sighed and said "If it really bothers you that much you can repay me when you've regained your memory and have some money again, alright?"

I looked up at him again and smiled. "Thanks."

"No problem, now let's go." He said smiling.

We were soon driving off into town. We went to a clothes store first. I got two pairs of jeans, both skinny; one pair of black, straight legged trousers; a pair of jeans shorts; black tights; two tank tops, a turquoise one and a black one; a white button up shirt; a plaid shirt; two T-Shirts; a zip-up jacket; a cardigan; pj's and a cute, black knee-length skater dress with little white birds embroidered. Then we went to a shoe store. There I got a pair of black biker boots, a pair of sneakers, a pair of simple black flats and a pair of slippers. Our last stop was at a local supermarket, where I got a hair brush, a tooth brush and tooth paste, shampoo, socks and some bras and underwear. Will felt very uncomfortable when I was picking out the bras and underwear, which made me grin. When we were back in the car, after all the shopping we had done, I kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush slightly.

"Thank you for everything." I told him smiling.

"You're welcome." He muttered.

We then drove to the place where Will gave his lectures. I pulled out some of the clothes we had bought, together with a bra, knickers, socks and the black biker boots. I went to the bathroom and changed into the new things, taking of Will's too big clothes. I put them in the black handbag which we had also bought and joined Will in his office before walking to his class together.

When we entered the room, I went to sit at the first row, wanting to hear everything he said.

After five minutes he started and I was fascinated by everything he said. He spoke of a case he had worked on as a profiler for the FBI; a man had entered the house of a Mr. and Mrs. Marlow and had shot them both. It was really interesting.

"Tell me your design" he finished his lecture. Everybody stood up and started to leave, but I remained sat as I saw an Afro-American man walk up to Will.

I watched them as they spoke a few minutes. They then turned to leave, and Will saw me, remembering I was still there. He told me to come down as we were leaving.

"Jack, meet Victoria Harris, she is staying with me for a while, until she regains her memories that is. Victoria, meet Jack Crawford." Will introduced us to each other.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Harris", Jack told me as we shook hands.

"Likewise", I replied, a formal smile on my face. "Oh and please, Mr. Crawford, call me Victoria."

"Then please call me Jack, Victoria." He answered me, a small grin on his face.

I smiled at him once more, before turning my gaze away from him. At this time we were walking on the parking lot and I overheard them talking to each other.

They were talking about eight girls who had gone missing, and apparently Jack wanted Will's help to solve the case.

We went to Jacks office, where he explained the specifics of the case to Will. The eight girls who had gone missing, were all similar to each other; same age, same weight, same hair color. Will's theory was that they weren't abducted from their houses, but from someplace else.

The eighth girl, Elise Nichols, disappeared last Friday. She was supposed to watch the house for her parents at the weekend, feed the cat, but she never made it home.

Will explained his theory to us. "It's not about all of these girls, it's about one of them. It's like he's Willy Wonka and these girls are all candy bars. Hidden in these bars, is one special bar, his golden ticket."

They then talked some more about the case and then about Will. He wasn't entirely sure if he wanted to help Jack yet, I could see that from the look in his eyes and from his body language.

"Help me find some evidence" Jack said to him.

Will hesitated for a moment, looking at me and then away again, and said "That would require me to be sociable." Which he clearly wasn't too fond of.

We then went to Elise Nichols' house, only to discover her body in her bedroom. She was brought back, Will calling it an 'apology'.

After that, we left for Wolf Trap again. While driving home, I saw a dog, walking at the side of the road.

"Will, look" I said, pointing at the dog.

Will looked over to where I was pointing and started to drive slower and stopped the car. We got out and started to try to make the dog come to us. We were able to take him with us in the car, and took him back to Wills house.

I sat in the backseat, cuddling with the dog. I really liked the dog, and Will noticed this as he was looking at me and the dog through the rearview mirror.

"You two fit together very well", he said to me, a small smile on his lips.

"I really like him Will, don't joke about that." I told him seriously, though you could see from the look in my eyes that I was amused.

"You're a good boy, aren't you Winston? Aren't you?" I muttered to the dog while stroking his golden fur.

"Winston?" Will asked me. "How did you came up with that?"

"I don't know, it just popped into my head" I said.

"Well, I like it. Winston it is then." Will said.

We continued the rest of our drive home in silence. When we arrived, Will took the dog to the porch and started bathing and then hair drying the dog. When Winston was clean and smelled really nice, Will introduced him to the other dogs.

"Winston, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Winston."

Not long after that, we went to sleep, being exhausted from the day we had had. Will insisted I took the bed, and he would sleep on the couch.

So now I was laying on my side, watching Will turn and shift in his sleep. He was having a nightmare, I thought. I felt sympathetic for him, as I knew how bad a weird and bad dream could make you feel.

I continued watching Will for a while, until my eyelids grew heavy, and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5: Have we met before?

_Hello again and welcome to the fifth chapter! I really hope you are enjoying reading the story as much as I am enjoying writing it._

_As you've probably noticed, I'm not paying much attention to the case, as I want to be focused more on the dynamics and the relations between the characters. But if you would like more of the case in the story, let me know and I'll see what I can do! ;)_

_I want to thank DoeEyedDarling for following, favoriting and reviewing, i-dun-did-it and Lynnie Viciousfor following and camsam17 for favoriting._

_DoeEyedDarling: thank you so much for your review! I really enjoyed reading it as it made me grin like a little schoolgirl, which is probably very weird. But you were my first reviewer so yeah, I was happy. And I know there are a few grammar and spelling mistakes, though I do try to make as less of them as possible. But as English isn't my mother tongue, it's harder for me to spot them, you know? I am looking for a Beta, actually, so that shouldn't be a problem anymore soon. Thanks again for reviewing :)_

_Now let's get on with the story!_

**Chapter 5: Have we met before?**

I woke up feeling restless after having the same dream as the night before again. This time I wasn't as freaked out as the previous time though, and was able to calm myself down without the help of Will.

As the moonlight shone through the windows, I looked over to the couch where Will was sleeping. I saw he was all covered in sweat and felt bad for him. I wished I could do something for him, but I couldn't think of anything.

After a while of watching him, he suddenly jerked up, probably woken up by the dream. I watched him fetch a few towels and returning to the couch. He placed one on the spot where he was laying down his head and chest, took off his shirt, laid himself down again and put the other towel over him. He probably did this to prevent more sweat of leaking down onto the couch. After a few minutes, he fell asleep again, but a little bit more peaceful this time.

I kept watching him for a while. He really is something else, isn't he, I thought. He didn't like being sociable, looking other people in the eyes and he was being plagued by nightmares.

I must have fallen asleep while thinking, and watching Will, because when I opened my eyes again, the sun was shining brightly through the windows. I sniffed when I smelled the scent of toast in the air. My stomach rumbled loudly.

I heard Will laugh and I turned to look at him. "Good morning", he grinned.

"Morning", I groaned. I wasn't in a very good mood, as my headache had returned.

I shook the sheets of off me and joined Will for breakfast. "Do you have an aspirin for me, my head is killing me" I said while taking a seat on the chair opposite of him.

He silently handed me the pills and a glass of water, a look of light concern on his face.

"You okay? You could stay here if you want" he suggested. Will had a class this midday, so we were supposed to be leaving in an hour or so, me going with him because I wanted to visit his class again.

I shook my head. "No, I want to come. I'll be fine in a few minutes."

We ate the rest of our breakfast in a comfortable silence. What living together mattered, we fit together perfectly. He liked peace and quiet, and so did I.

After finishing breakfast and clearing everything up, I went to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready. I put on the jeans I wore the day before, the turquoise tank top and the white button-up shirt which I left open. I put on my sneakers and stared in the mirror. I look awful, I thought. I had bruises underneath my hazel-green eyes and I looked very pale. My raven black hair, which fell halfway my back, looked alright, but I still pulled it up in a high ponytail.

I left the bathroom and let Will have his turn to get ready. I made the bed and sat down on it, waiting for Will.

After about ten minutes, Will had gotten ready and we left the house.

He gave his lecture and I was seated on the front row, again fascinated by the way he seemed to change when in front of a class. He looked less insecure and really cared for what he told the people who followed the class.

After the lecture, Will left me in his office to go to the bathroom. When he came back, he looked slightly upset about something, but he didn't want to talk about it.

We then left and went to the forensics lab, where the same people from the crime scene of the Nichols house were looking at the body of the poor dead girl. Beverly Katz, Fuller and Jimmy Price, were their names, if I wasn't mistaken.

I didn't really pay much attention to what they were saying. I was lost in my own thoughts for a moment. But I did hear Will concluding that the serial killer was eating the girls. I felt shock running through my body and felt a little nauseous. I also felt another feeling, a feeling I couldn't name. Maybe I've dealt with this sort of thing, cannibals, before in my life? I felt sick at the thought and again, damned my amnesia.

"You okay?" Will snapped me out of my thoughts.

I nodded my head. "Yeah, I'm alright. Can we just go home?" I asked him softly.

"Sure" he said, a bit hesitantly. He knew something was definitely up, but didn't want to press the subject, as he knew I didn't want to talk about it.

After saying goodbye to everybody, we left for Wolf Trap.

When we arrived there, it was already evening. We had dinner and went to sit on the couch, me on one end and Will on the other. He was reading the same book he had been reading in my hospital room. I had my legs curled up and my feet tucked underneath them. I was also reading a book, one I had taken from Wills bookcase. It was a good book, but I couldn't keep my mind at it. My thoughts kept going back to that dream I already had dreamt twice now. I was really trying to remember where I had heard the voice before, and to whom it belonged. But I just couldn't put my finger on it. I frowned and put the book down in my lap to rub my temples with my hands. My headache was back. It looked like it came back whenever I was trying to remember something.

Will must have seen me doing it, because he also put his book down and asked me "You sure nothing's wrong?"

I took my hands of my head to look at him. I looked in his eyes and again felt them having that calming effect on me. This made me think I could trust him, so I started talking.

"You remember when I told you about that dream, and said it wasn't a memory?" He nodded. "Well, I'm not so sure about that. There was this voice, and I felt like I knew the voice, and like he had had a huge role in my life before I forgot everything."

I told him all about the dream, not leaving away the fact that I had felt peaceful in the end. In short, I told him everything. Apart from one thing; the fact that I thought I could have dealt with cannibals in my life. We were still living together and I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.

He seemed to think for a while. He then flicked his gaze to me and said "I don't know how amnesia feels, but I can imagine it sucks. Not being able to remember if you had someone special in your life, and if your dream is any indication, I think you did." He paused for a moment. "But I do want you to know that if there's anything wrong, or you just feel bad or something, I'm here. You can always talk to me, about everything."

I was surprised about that. "Wow, I mean, thanks Will. That means a lot to me." And it really did, he was so sweet. I smiled at him.

He smiled back, but his expression turned to one of surprise when I suddenly hugged him tight. He awkwardly put his arms around me.

We sat like that for a few moments, before I let him go. I smiled at him once more and told him I wanted to go to sleep.

He nodded his head and once as I was under the sheets, he turned the lights of and laid himself down on the couch. We both were asleep pretty fast.

When I woke up, Will was still asleep. I got up and got dressed. I put on the black, straight legged trousers, the white button-up shirt above a white T-Shirt, which I didn't leave open this time. I matched it with my black flats, pulled my hair up in a messy bun and went back downstairs.

While I was setting the table, Will woke up. "Good morning sunshine" I grinned at him.

"Good morning" he smiled at me. He was in a better mood than I was the day before. He got up and went upstairs to get dressed.

When he came back, he sat down on the now fully set table. "Did you have the dream again?" He asked me.

I simply nodded my head at him and took a sip of my coffee. The dream hadn't been any different from the earlier times I had had it. The only difference was that I didn't wake up disorientated anymore, but calm, and it hadn't given me a headache.

We ate our breakfast in silence, which seemed to be becoming a custom thing between us. After we cleaned up the table, we left for the FBI academy in Quantico again.

As Jack wanted to speak with Will about the case again, we went to his office. As Will and Jack were talking about the case, which didn't really interest me that much, I paced in the office, stopping in front of the board on which the case files were pinned. I stared at the pictures of the dead girls. They were all pretty ordinary, but still pretty. I felt bad for the eight girls who's life had been ended by a sick serial killer, a cannibal. As I was staring at the board, I heard someone enter the office, but I didn't turn around to face him. I couldn't turn my gaze away from the girls.

"Hello Dr. Lecter, I'm glad you could make it. This is Will Graham, he is a special investigator. Will, this is Dr. Hannibal Lecter. He's a psychiatrist and is here to help us out on the case." Jack introduced them, not including me in the introduction. He probably had forgotten I was there too.

"Good day Jack, Mr. Graham. It's a pleasure to be here and I hope I'll be able to help out." Dr. Lecter said and I felt myself freeze at the sound of his voice. Accent, probably European, and polite… This was the voice from my dream.

I turned around slowly and faced him. He had brown hair, neatly combed to the side. The color of his hair matched the color of his eyes, which were hazel. He was dressed the same way as his hair: neat. I knew instantly I had seen him before. I just couldn't think of why, when or where, and what part he had been of my life.

I didn't let it show that I had recognized him. He turned his gaze to me, only then realizing I was there. I saw him freeze too, and shock was clearly on his face. His mouth fell open a bit and he started walking towards me. "Tori…" he whispered, disbelief and shock present in his voice.

The way he said my name sent shivers down my spine. It sounded so painfully familiar. He was still walking towards me, and I backed away, turning my face into one of confusion so he wouldn't know I had recognized him. I wanted to find out more about him by myself. He might have been a huge part of my life, I didn't know that, but I still had the dream in mind. He had drowned me after all.

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" I said, proud of myself for making my voice sound so steady.


	6. Chapter 6: Well this is awkward

_Hello hello hello! Welcome to the sixth chapter! Left you with a bit of a cliffhanger last time, didn't I? ;) Hope you enjoy the next chapter! Please let me know what you think?_

_Shout outs: Sidhlair for following and DoeEyedDarling for reviewing_

_DoeEyedDarling: Thank you again for reviewing! I know what you mean by being a professional fangirl haha :P AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT COMPLIMENT ABOUT MY ENGLISH MEANS TO ME? Thank you so so much! It's such a big compliment and no one has ever told me that before, okay I actually love you right now. And yeah you can call her Tori, as I will probably be calling her like that too. But in the story, it's mainly Hannibal the Cannibal who will be calling her like that, at least for now… And don't worry, all will be revealed, sooner or later ;) Ahw and seriously? I wasn't sure about the title, but if you say so, I will keep it :)_

_And now I won't let you wait any longer. On with the story!_

**Chapter 6: Well… this is awkward.**

"I'm sorry, have we met before?" I said, proud of myself for making my voice sound so steady.

I saw all sorts of emotions fill his expression. Hurt, confusion and even horror. "I… we…" he started, but then stopped, apparently not knowing what to say.

I looked over to Will and saw how hard he was thinking about what was going on. He wasn't dumb, he had heard the accent too. He must have realized this was the voice from my dreams as well. He watched Dr. Lecter with a weird expression, without looking him in the eyes. If I thought about it, he only seemed to be looking me in the eyes, I wondered why that was.

I watched Will closely. That expression, could it be jealousy?

He must have felt me staring at him, because he turned his head to look at me. His gaze asked me a question. _Is this him?_ I nodded my head once, barely noticeable. _Do you want him to know you recognize him?_ At this question I shook my head, also almost unnoticeable.

Will seemed to understand, because he coughed, making Dr. Lecter to look at him. "Well… this is awkward… Dr. Lecter, this is Victoria Harris. She is staying with me until she regains her memory. She was in some sort of accident, and now she can't remember a thing about her life. You knew each other apparently, but I'm sorry to say that she probably doesn't remember you at all, as her memories have not returned yet."

Dr. Lecter turned his gaze to me again, that hurt look still on his face.

I knew I should probably say something, so I said, with my face still looking confused, "Will is right. I'm sorry about that, Dr. Lecter. I really don't remember you. What were you from me?"

"Please do call me Hannibal, you too, Will" he said, his gaze flicking to Will for a second, before turning back to me. "And we were… friends" he said that part a bit hesitantly, obviously lying. He then turned his gaze away, to the board behind me. I watched him as he tried to steady his face, to make his expression blank again.

For a while, nobody said anything, the tension in the room feeling awkward.

Then Jack seemed to have enough of it, because he started speaking. "Well, I'm sure her memories will return soon enough, so don't worry about that Dr. Lecter. But could we now focus on the case?"

Jack was a godsend in that moment. He made the tension loosen a bit as we were all glad to turn our attention to something a whole lot less awkward.

Hannibal nodded his head and walked over to the board, where I was still standing. I walked away, and went to stand beside Will. I put my hand on his shoulder to try to relax him, as I knew that him not liking to be sociable would also make him very uncomfortable in this kind of situations. He looked up at me, a grateful smile gracing his face.

Hannibal raised his eyebrows at the sight, and I saw his eyes darken a bit before turning away from us to look at the board.

"Tell me then, how many confessions?" he asked, talking about something I probably missed because I hadn't been paying much attention to the case details.

"Twelve dozen last time I checked. None of them knew details. Until this morning, when everyone knew details. Some genius in Duluth PD took a picture of Elise Nichols' body and shared it with a few close friends. Then Freddy Lounds ran it on ." Jack answered him.

"Tasteless" Will said.

Hannibal turned to him. "Do you have trouble with taste?" he asked Will.

"My thoughts are often not tasty" he answered a bit darkly, not looking Hannibal in the eyes.

"Nor mine. No effective barriers."

"I make forts" Will said, which caused me to smile at him in an amused way.

"Associations come quickly" Hannibal said, his gaze flicking to my hand on Wills shoulder for a moment. He obviously had an issue with that, but I didn't take my hand off of Wills shoulder, as it didn't only relax Will, but me too. Because if I were honest, Hannibal scared me a bit. I didn't know why, he just did.

"So do forts." Will answered.

Hannibal seemed to notice the fact Will didn't look anyone in the eyes. "Not too fond of eye contact, are you?"

Will flicked his gaze up into my eyes for a moment, which caused Hannibal's eyes to darken again. Will then turned his gaze away, and looked at Hannibal's shirt.

"Eyes are distracting. You see too much, you don't see enough. And it's hard to focus when you're thinking, those whites are really white or, they must have hepatitis or, is that a burst vein? So I try to avoid eyes whenever possible." Will explained, which made Hannibal look at him in an amused way.

He watched Will for a few moments before saying, "I imagine what you see and learn touches everything else in your mind. Your values and decency are present yet shocked at your associations, appalled at your dreams. No forts in the bone arena of your skull for things you love."

Hannibal had just described Will to a letter, but Will himself wasn't too pleased with that.

"Whose profile are you working on? Whose profile is he working on? Will said, the last part directed at Jack.

"I'm sorry Will. Observing is what we do. I can't shut mine off any more than you can shut yours off." Hannibal said.

Will still wasn't pleased and said to Jack, "Don't psychoanalyze me. You won't like me when I'm psychoanalyzed." He stood up, which caused me to drop my hand. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lecture to give. About psychoanalyzing." Oh, the irony, I thought.

Will walked to the door and exited it, not looking back.

Hannibal turned his gaze to me again and looked at me with a breeding expression on his face, which sent shivers down my spine.

I looked away from him, to Jack, and said, "I should probably go after him, it was nice to meet you Dr. Lecter" I said, being polite.

I shot a look at him and exited the door after a quick 'goodbye'.

When I got in the hallway, I noticed Will had already gone to his class. I walked up to the room where he usually gave his lectures, and saw his class had already started.

I stayed outside of the room, waiting in the hallway. I didn't want to intrude his lecture. This also gave me some time to think. About_ him_. What should I do? I found it weird that in my dream, I loved him, but in real life, he sent shivers down my spine. I was scared of him, I realized.

My mind was a mess, and my headache was slowly returning as I was once again trying to remember. With no luck, of course.

I walked up to the wall opposite of the classroom door and sat down, my back leaning against the wall, knees on the same level as my head.

I closed my eyes for a bit, my headache becoming more and more painful.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to look up into a pair of calming eyes through rectangular glasses. "Victoria, are you okay?" he asked me, his face filled with concern.

I looked around and noticed that the light fell through the windows in an entirely different way, and I was feeling quite stiff, which meant I must have been sitting there longer than I thought. Wills class was already over too.

I looked back up to him, into his eyes, and nodded my head. I tried to get up, and Will slowly got up with me, ready to catch me if I fell.

"You okay?" he asked me again. "Do you want to talk about it, you know, about _him_?"

I shook my head, answering both of his questions. "Not right now, not here. At home."

He nodded his head and we walked to the car, ready to go home.

The drive home was a silent one, but not uncomfortable. None of our silences were uncomfortable.

When we arrived, we went to the sofa and sat down. Will looked at me, encouraging me to speak. But I didn't know what to say. So I just asked him "what do you want to know?"

He swallowed for a moment. "Now that you've seen, you know, _him_, is there anything you remember?"

"No, not really. I only know that I've definitely seen him before and he used to be a part of my life, but I don't know in which way. I thought that the dream had meant we were, you know, lovers, but I don't know about that." I said.

"Why is that?" he asked me.

I shrugged and said "I don't know, but whenever he looked at me, or said my name, it had sent shivers down my spine. And I caught a few dark looks he sent out, not only towards me, but directed at you as well." I looked him in the eyes in a determined way and said "Will, I was afraid of him. How could we have been lovers when I'm afraid of him, it doesn't make any sense."

I put my head in my hands and rubbed my temples again. Will silently got up and I heard him shuffle through some cabinets. He came back and cleared his throat. I looked up at him and saw he was holding a glass of water and an aspirin. Geez Will, you know me so well already?

I took the glass and pills from him, a small but grateful smile on my face. "Thanks" I said. I drank down the entire glass after swallowing the pill and handed it back to him. He took it back to the kitchen.

When he returned, he sat down right next to me and awkwardly put an arm around my shoulders.

I looked up to him in surprise and saw from the look of his face that he wanted to comfort me, but didn't really know how to do it.

Appreciating the gesture, I threw my arms around his waist and put my head down on his shoulder. He then put his other arm around me as well, and rested his head on mine, his cheek on my hair.

We sat there for a while, him just holding me. Neither of us said a word and it was really nice. That, together with hearing his heart beating beneath my ear, calmed me down and made me feel better again.

I only got up when I noticed the sunlight had changed into moonlight, leaving Will on the couch. I went to the bathroom to pee, and when I came back I saw that he had dropped his head on the couch and was now laying awkwardly down, half on and half off the couch.

I laughed silently at the sight and walked up to him. I put his feet down onto the couch after taking off his shoes. I then took his glasses off, put them down on the coffee table and spread out a blanket over him.

I then pulled on my pajamas, preparing to go to sleep too. But first, I walked up to Will again, bent down and pressed quick kiss on his forehead. "Thank you for everything" I whispered.

I walked over to the bed again and curled up underneath the sheets, suddenly feeling very tired. It didn't last long before I fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7: What do you remember?

_Hello everyone! The seventh chapter already! I know I'm posting a lot, but I just have too much free time. I still go to school, (I'm seventeen) but school just has been easy on me for now. That's so wonderful haha ;)_

_Shout outs: CJE and the mummy fan for favoriting_

_On with the story now!_

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**Chapter 7: What do you remember?**

_I was dreaming again. But this time, it was a different dream. This didn't feel surreal to me. I was in the kitchen of a house, it was _his_ house, I didn't know how I knew, I just knew. He was there too. He was coming towards me, his expression dark, but somehow also hurt, and I've never felt more afraid in my entire life. I backed away and started running towards the front door. I managed to slip out of reach of his hands, which were grabbing for me, and exited the door. I didn't know where I was headed, I just ran. I had to get away from him. _

_I ran towards the road, heard the squealing noise of the breaks of a car who had to stop all of a sudden, and felt a sharp pain in my side. I've just been hit by a car, I thought._

_I heard the door of the car opening, and the driver ran up to me. He helped me up, asking if I was alright. I nodded my head quickly, not forgetting why I had been running in the first place._

"_Tori!" I froze when I heard him calling out my name. I looked up and to the right, and saw him running straight at me._

_I panicked, hit the driver of the car so he would let me go and started running again. _

_Running towards the woods on my left side, I was glad it was dark outside which meant he couldn't see me very well._

_I entered the woods and it immediately got pitch black. That didn't matter to me, my eyesight had always been extraordinary. I could see just enough to keep the falling to a minimum, but still I fell a few times, leaving scratches and dirt on me._

_I looked behind me, but I couldn't see him._

_In the distance, I saw the lights of a road and ran towards it. I had just reached the side of the road when a car was coming up. I didn't hesitate and ran, this time consciously, on the road to stop the car. The car managed to stop just inches away from me. I let out a cry of relief and ran up to the passenger side of the car. I jumped in and shouted at the driver to drive away as fast as he could. I then turned to the window and froze as I saw him standing between the trees, watching me with a face of grief, like he had lost something. That was the last thing I saw before everything that had happened the past hour started to take its toll on me and I blacked out._

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I jerked up, wide awake. This had been a memory! This was what had happened to me before I jumped in front of Wills car!

I crawled out of bed and paced to the couch where Will was still sleeping. Feeling too psyched to let him sleep, I shook him awake. "Will, Will get up! Will! Wake! Up!"

He groaned and looked at me. As he saw my expression he went to sit straight right away. "What is it?" he asked me with a concerned look on his face.

I sat down next to him and looked at him with a serious expression. "I remember" I said. "I remember what happened the night I ran in front of your car."

His eyes widened as I said that. "How do you know?" he asked me.

"I just dreamt about it! It came to me in a dream!" I almost shouted.

If he was shocked by the way I was acting, he hid it very well. "So, what _did_ happen?" he asked me.

"I was in Hannibal's house and suddenly felt very afraid, I had never felt more afraid in my life. He then started to walk up to me, his face twisted in this dark but hurt expression, and I ran off. I managed to slip out of reach of his hands and ran out the door. Then I ran into the road and got hit by a car, which probably explains the broken ribs." I said. "I then heard him yell my name, not my full name, but my nickname 'Tori', and saw as he was running towards me. I ran off again, into the woods. I managed to plough through the woods in the dark and ran up to the road, in front of your car. He was watching me from between the trees as I jumped into your car, his face filled with grief, as if he had lost something. And you know what happened from there."

Will thought for a moment. "Do you remember anything else or just this?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Just this. But it's a start" I said hopefully.

"It is" he nodded. He flicked his gaze up to me, as if he had just thought of something. "Do you know why you ran off in the first place? What had made you so afraid?"

I hadn't thought of that earlier, but that didn't seem to matter, because I didn't know anyway. I shook my head again.

He just nodded his head, deep in thought. I felt a shiver go down my spine as I thought of Hannibal.

"Will, he scares me, a lot. I'm terrified of him. He can't find out I remember what happened. Because if he does, he would want to attack me again. But if he thinks I simply don't remember, he might leave me alone and then he can't hurt me" I rambled.

Will put his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. "I won't let him hurt you, I promise. I'll take care of you, I won't let him hurt you. Shhhh it's okay." He said while stroking my raven black hair.

I hugged him back tightly and felt my breath become steady again. I hadn't even realized I had started to hyperventilate.

When my breathing had returned to a normal pace again, Will let go of me held my face between his hands, stroking away the tears that had slipped out without me even noticing. God I was so clueless these days.

I put my hand over one of Wills and looked him in the eyes. He raised his eyebrows at me, silently asking me a question. _You okay again?_ I understood and nodded my head, a small smile on my face. He let go of me and leaned back on the couch a bit.

Just as I wanted to thank him, we both jumped at the sound of his mobile ringing. Will got up and answered it. Apparently there had been another killing. Another girl to add to the list, I thought bitterly.

We got ready, had breakfast and left Wolf Trap again. We had packed some stuff, as we would be staying in a motel in Minnesota.

When we arrived at the crime scene, I immediately turned away, facing the part of the field which wasn't filled with cops and forensics. I had to turn away, because I was feeling sick and I didn't want to throw up.

The dead girl, was impaled on the antlers of a prize head. She was covered in blood and as they talked about her and the case, I heard Zeller say her lungs were removed from her body when she was still alive.

I then blocked their conversation out, not wanting to hear any more about what this cannibal had done.

After a while of standing there, Will came up to me and softly told me we were leaving.

Once back in the car, we drove off to the motel where we would be spending the night.

Will told me in short, without any gruesome details, what had happened. Apparently this hadn't been the same killer as the one who had killed Elise Nichols, this was a copycat. Another cannibal. Great. Just what I needed.

We arrived at the motel and checked in. One tiny problem: they only had rooms left with a double bed. So we would have to be sleeping together in the same bed. It didn't really bother me, but it did seem to make Will feel a bit uncomfortable.

We entered the room to drop off our stuff and went into town. We had lunch and went to do a bit of shopping, as I realized I really needed a mobile. I needed to be able to call Will if something were to happen. Will agreed with me and we had bought one. I thanked him and we went back to our motel room.

For the rest of the afternoon, we just sat down, me on the bed and he on a chair at the table. We talked and talked and talked. I got to know all about him, just as I wanted to when we had first met.

After that, we went back out to have dinner, and we spent the rest of the evening reading in our books.

I yawned and put my book down. "Let's go to sleep." I said as I saw Will was also almost drifting of.

I went to the bathroom to turn into my pajamas and when I got back out, Will had also turned his on.

I walked up to the bed and crawled underneath the sheets. I looked over to him when he didn't get into bed, a questioning look on my face. "Is there a problem, Mr. Graham?"

He swallowed and got underneath the sheets. "Not a problem at all" he muttered and turned on his side, his back facing me. I sighed and turned the lights off. You can be such a child sometimes, I thought.

He was asleep pretty fast, but I remained awake, not being able to sleep. I thought of the events of the day, and of _him_. I still wondered how I could have felt like I loved him in the first dream, but in real life and in the second dream I was absolutely terrified of him.

I looked back over at Will and thought about what he had said earlier, about him protecting me. Could he have meant that? Or had he just said it to calm me down?

As I was thinking of this, I saw him shiver in his sleep. Probably another nightmare, I thought. Still, I hated watching him when he was having a nightmare. I got closer to him and started stroking his back with my hand, trying to calm him down. He suddenly rolled over and slipped his arms around me, pulling me close against him.

I looked up at him in shock and surprise, and noticed he was still sleeping, he was doing it in his sleep. I relaxed a bit and rested my head against his chest. Suddenly feeling very tired, probably caused by the calming effect he had on me, I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep.

I didn't dream that night.


	8. Chapter 8: Tension and dark looks

_Hello again! The eighth chapter already! It might take a while before I upload the next, but maybe not. I'll see about that._

_Shout outs: not to any one in particular, but to everyone who has visited this story, there are already over a hundred visitors! Thank you!_

_And now onward with the story!_

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**Chapter 8: Tension and a lot of dark looks**

I woke up when I heard knocking on the door of the motel room. The room was pitch dark, except for the few rays of sunlight that managed to beam through the curtains. I was still in Wills arms, him holding me tight. He looked peaceful, maybe he hadn't had any nightmares this night either. I crawled out of his arms when I heard the knocking again. I walked up to the door and peeked through the spy in the door to see who was there. When I saw who it was, I backed away, trying to catch my breath again. I walked over to Will, who was still asleep.

"Will! He's here!" I hissed, shaking him. He slowly woke up and tried to see my face in the dark room. "Will, he's at the door!" I hissed again.

Suddenly wide awake, he jumped out of bed and walked over to the door.

"Will, he can't know I remember!"

He mumbled a soft 'I know', before opening the door, to reveal Hannibal standing there with his hands raised, as if he was about to knock again.

"Good morning Will, may I come in?" I heard him asking.

Will kept him talking while I quickly grabbed some clothes and locked myself in the bathroom. I took a shower and got dressed, putting on jeans, a black tank top and the plaid shirt, which I left hanging open, and pulled my hair up in a high ponytail.

Standing in front of the bathroom door, my hand on the knob, I tried to steady my breath. He can't know, he can't know, he can't know, I thought, over and over again. Turning my expression blank, I walked out the door.

When I re-entered the room, I saw that they were sitting at the table, having breakfast. I don't know why I did, but I felt a bit nauseous as I saw Will putting a piece of what looked like sausage in his mouth.

Turning my gaze away from him, I looked at Hannibal, twitching my lips into a polite smile.

"Good morning Dr. Lecter" I said.

His eyes looked me over, before he pierced them into mine. It was as if he was looking for something, recognition maybe, but dropped his gaze as he didn't seem to find it.

I was proud of myself for not shivering as he looked me in the eyes, and was glad when he looked away.

"Good morning Tori" he said, still using the short version of my name. "I have told you before, call me Hannibal. You might not be comfortable with this, but I'm afraid I insist. It might help you retrieve your memories about me."

Oh, if he only knew… I thought.

"Is that why you keep calling me Tori?" I asked him, to which he simply nodded his head.

"Here, I've brought some breakfast with me. Sit down and eat." He said.

I shook my head and said "No, I don't want any, I'm feeling a bit sick." Which wasn't a lie. I was feeling sick because of his presence in the room.

He looked at me with a dark expression. This time I couldn't hold back the shiver that ran down my spine. I saw from the look in his eyes that he had seen it, which made him narrow his eyes at me.

I sat down on the bed and looked away, angry at myself for letting him see that.

It was quiet for a while, and I still didn't look up to him, but I could feel his gaze burning on me.

He suddenly asked Will "Have you finished your breakfast?" I looked up at Will and saw him nodding. "Then I suggest you go and make yourself ready, we have things to do." Hannibal said.

Will looked over to me as we realized at the same time what he was trying to do. He wanted Will in the bathroom, so he could be alone with me for a few moments. Knowing it would be suspicious if Will asked Hannibal to leave the room or something, I nodded my head at Will, letting him know it was okay.

He nodded his head, stood up, grabbed some clothes and went to the bathroom.

I still didn't look up at Hannibal, although I could feel his gaze again. I heard him stand up and walk over to me. He crouched in front of me and grabbed my chin with his hands, forcing me to look at him. Unable to move, I looked in his eyes and I saw from the look in his eyes that he knew that I had remembered something.

"Tori" he whispered. "What do you remember? And don't lie to me, don't tell me you don't remember anything, because I know you do. I'm a psychiatrist, I read peoples expressions for a living." He said, his accent sounding very thick.

I looked him in the eyes and was confused by his expression. He didn't look angry or had that dark look in his eyes. He looked at me with a kind and soft expression.

"Tori." He said again.

"I… Um… I don't really remember anything, I just feel like I've met you before. There's something very familiar about your voice and the way you say my name. But that's it." I said. Maybe it wasn't clever to lie to him, but it wasn't a complete lie, it was a half-truth.

He looked me in the eyes for a very long time. I looked back, knowing that if I dropped my gaze, he would know I wasn't telling him the entire truth. So I stared back until he let go of my chin and stood up. He went to sit back on his chair, but kept looking at me.

Unable to hold my eyes open any longer, I closed them for two seconds. When I reopened them, I froze as I saw the dark look in his eyes had returned. His mouth curled up into a snarl.

"I told you not to lie to me" he almost growled.

I kept staring at him, frozen, unable to move. Anger was slowly filling his expression, together with irritation. But I also saw hurt cross his eyes for a moment, and I almost thought I had imagined it.

The tension in the room was slowly building up as his face got darker and darker. He suddenly stood up, almost knocking over his chair, and just walked out the door, slamming it as he left.

Not realizing I had held my breath, I let it leave my lungs, trembling. I remained sat, shaking, until I heard the bathroom door open.

I turned to Will and he shot one look at me and instantly knew I was terrified. He paced to the bed and sat down next to me, throwing his arms around me.

I hugged him back tightly and calmed down a bit.

"What happened, where is he?" he asked me.

I let go of him to look at him. "He left, he's probably waiting outside." I said. "Will, he knows I remember something. I tried lying to him, but he saw right through me and now he's angry, very angry with me."

He embraced me again and said "It's okay, I meant what I said earlier, I won't let him hurt you."

I sighed and closed my eyes while I rested my chin on his shoulder. We sat like this for a while, enjoying the silence that surrounded us, until it was interrupted by knocking on the door.

We looked each other in the eyes, before Will got up and opened the door. It was Hannibal. I got up and went to stand behind Will, looking at Hannibal over Wills shoulder.

"Will, Victoria, are you ready to go?" he asked us, pretending as if nothing had happened.

I noticed he had said my full name, instead of 'Tori', and wondered why that had changed.

Will and I looked at each other for a moment, before turning back to him. "Give us a minute" Will said and closed the door after Hannibal had nodded his head.

I pulled on my biker boots and packed my stuff, as Will did the same. We didn't say anything, knowing there was nothing to say. We both didn't understand why he pretended nothing ever happened.

After we were ready packing our stuff, we checked out of the hotel and walked over to our rental car, where Hannibal was waiting for us. We put our stuff in the trunk, and got in the car. I was sitting in the back seat, Hannibal in the passenger seat and Will was driving.

We drove in silence until we pulled up at a construction site.

Will was unbuckling his belt as he noticed Hannibal smiling.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked.

"Peeking behind the curtain. Curious how the FBI goes about its business when it isn't kicking in doors." He answered Will.

Will was surprised, just like me. He really was acting as if nothing had happened. But I didn't mind, at all, to be honest. If he wanted it to be this way, that was fine with me.

Will seemed to agree with me, because he said "We're lucky we're not doing house to house interviews. We found a little piece of metal in the clothes Elise Nichols was wearing. A shred from a pipe threader."

"Jack Crawford wants me to make sure you're of sound mind and body… to look for metal pipethreaders?" Hannibal asked with raised eyebrows.

Will smiled at him and said "That's between you and Jack."

Hannibal then looked outside of the window. "There must be hundreds of construction sites all over Minnesota." He said.

"Certain kind of metal, certain kind of pipe, certain kind of pipe coating,… So we're looking at construction sites that use that kind of pipe." Will replied.

"And what are we looking for?" Hannibal asked.

"At this stage, anything really. But mostly anything peculiar" Will said before getting out of the car.

Hannibal smirked at what Will had said. He then seemed to notice I was still in the car too, because he turned around to me. He didn't look angry, he just stared at me with a blank expression.

Starting to feel uncomfortable, I unbuckled my seatbelt and followed Will.

I heard him getting out of the car and following me. I almost ran to the small building where Will had gone into.

I stepped through the door, and Hannibal followed suit. I walked to stand beside Will and he stopped in the doorway, eyeing me for a while. I ignored his look and helped Will go through the files, looking for anything out of the ordinary. I heard him sigh and he started to help out as well.

Will found a name of a worker which he found suspicious, because there was only a phone number, but no address. The secretary looked up the address for Will and after that the fore of us started to load the boxes full of files into the car.

I was walking back to the building together with Will, when I saw Hannibal passing the secretary a box, but let it slip out of his hands, causing the box to drop to the ground and the files to spread out over the ground. He had done that on purpose, I realized. Will ran up to the woman and told Hannibal he had it, so Hannibal went back inside the building and closed the door behind him, but not entirely, leaving it open ajar. I found this strange and walked up to the door, standing behind it to listen what he was doing.

I peeked inside and saw that he held the phone with a tissue around it to prevent leaving finger prints. I saw he dialed a number with his knuckles, which didn't leave any fingerprints either.

"Mister Garrett Jacob Hobbs?" I heard him ask the person on the phone and felt my blood freeze. He was calling the man Will thought was the serial killer.

"You don't know me and I suspect we'll never meet. This is a courtesy call. Listen very carefully." He paused for a moment. "Are you listening?" he asked.

Then he just simply said "They know", before hanging up and throwing the tissue away.

I saw him standing still for a moment, and I quickly backed away, not wanting to let him know I had heard him calling. He had just warned the serial killer we were coming.

I backed away, but forgot there was a little staircase and fell down. Pain shot through my bottom when I landed quite roughly on it.

I saw a hand reach out to me and I grabbed it, allowing him to pull me up. It was only when I was standing on my feet again, that I realized it had been Hannibal who had helped me get up. I pulled my hand out of his and looked at him. My eyes shot up to the building where he had just made that call and back to him. It was that what had made him narrow his eyes at me and I realized I had been terribly stupid, as he know knew that I had heard him.

His expression became dark again and I backed away, walking towards the car where Will was already waiting and got in.

He followed after a few moments and we drove off to the Hobbs house.

* * *

I was sitting on the bed in Wills house in Wolf trap, my back against the headboard, my legs curled up against my chest with my arms around them, and was staring into space. Will was at the hospital, sitting at the bedside of the daughter of the serial killer. I was all alone with the dogs and was thinking about what had happened at the Hobbs house.

When we had arrived there, Garrett Jacob Hobbs had pushed his wife out the door, her throat slit. Will and I ran up to her, but there was nothing we could do. We then ran inside, where Mr. Hobbs was holding his daughter with a knife on her throat. He had just started slashing when Will shoot him. And again, and again, and again, until he finally wasn't moving anymore. Will then went to the girl, trying to put pressure on the wound, but he was shaking too much. I bent down beside him and watched him, unable to do anything myself. Then Hannibal was suddenly there, and put pressure on her half-slit throat in the correct way. I looked up at him and saw he had a calm look on his face. I then got up and called the ambulance. It all went fast after that. Hannibal got on the ambulance with the girl, Will drove me back to Wolf Trap and went to the hospital himself.

I was starting to get really angry at Hannibal. I had enough of feeling weak and afraid of him. That didn't mean I wasn't scared anymore, it just meant that I didn't want to let it control me any longer. That's why I chose to be angry. The anger helped me to suppress my fear. I thought about how he had acted, the dark looks and everything else he had done. He had called to the Hobbs house, which had caused everything that had happened there. He had made Garrett Jacob Hobbs slash the throats of his wife and daughter, which had obliged Will to shoot him, where he was very upset about. And then he had the nerve to ride with the poor girl to the hospital to sit by her bedside. I was getting more and more pissed off and stood up, too angry to remain sat.

I started pacing through the room, feeling the sudden urge to punch something. I stopped in front of the window and stood there to look outside. It was already dark outside and you couldn't see much more than the shadows of trees and bushes. I squinted my eyes when I saw lights of a car approaching. I felt adrenaline rushing through my body as the car drove onto the driveway and I could see it wasn't Wills car. No, it was a car far more expensive. The car stopped and when the door opened, I saw in the lights of the car who the driver was.

I didn't hesitate and turned around, running towards the stairs. As I was climbing the stairs in a hurry, I heard the front door open. I had just gotten to the bathroom door as I heard footsteps on the stairs. When Hannibal reached the top, he paused to look at me. I stared back at him with a dark, challenging look and slammed the bathroom door shut, locking it.

Once the door was safely locked, I pressed my ear against the wood. I heard him sigh and coming towards the door, stopping in front of it. I backed away and went to the wall opposite of the door, sliding down against it, sitting down on the cold floor.

I went through my pockets and sighed when I didn't find it. Damn, I thought. How could I be so stupid to leave my mobile downstairs?

I watched the door, knowing he was still standing behind it. He suddenly cleared his throat and started talking.

"Victoria Harris, could you please open the door? I won't hurt you, I just want to talk." He said, his voice sounding very tired.

"The same way you talked to Garrett Jacob Hobbs?" I shouted through the door. This probably wasn't the smartest thing to do, but I didn't really care anymore. I had decided I wouldn't let my fear control me any longer and I would stick to that decision.

I heard a small bump on the door, was he leaning his forehead on the door?

"Please?" he asked, almost begging.

I sighed, got up and walked to the door, stopping when I was a feet away from it. "We can talk through the door" I said.

Hannibal had probably realized this was the best he could get, because he started talking.

"Please tell me what you remember" he said.

I hesitated for a moment before I started talking. I told him about what I had remembered because of my second dream, telling him the entire dream, but that was all I told him. I didn't tell him about the first one, as I didn't want to give him any ideas.

"But I don't remember why I was afraid or why I ran off." I finished.

He was quiet for a while. "Is that all you remember?" he finally asked me.

"Yes." I said, glad he couldn't see my face.

He didn't reply and I heard him walking towards the stairs. I don't know what came over me in that moment, but I unlocked the door and opened it, causing him to look at me.

"Tell me, why _did_ I ran off? Why _was_ I afraid?" I asked him.

He just looked at me sadly, and said "That's something you must remember by yourself."

We stared each other in the eyes for a while, before he slowly started to walk up to me, his hand slightly raised. But then he changed his mind, and said "Good bye Tori. And then he descended the stairs, and left the house.


	9. Chapter 9: Breakdown

_Hello and welcome to the ninth chapter! It's been a couple days since I last posted, but here it is then! _

_Shout outs: , Gypsy-Kitsune1337, Erestory, coeurdetenebre and Barn Owl Eye for following. Gypsy-Kitsune1337 and Times eternal for favoriting. Guest for reviewing. And of course DoeEyedDarling for reviewing!_

_DoeEyedDarling: Thanks for your THREE new reviews! Wow, just wow. Thanks so much! I'm going to reply per review, that's a bit easier alright ;) 1) Ahw thanks! I like her a like her a lot too, and I am coming up with some good things for her character, just wait and see ;) 2) Thanks for your compliment on the nightmare scene, it was interesting to write as well haha. You'll just have to wait to see if they end up as a couple, but I can tell you that you are going to like this chapter ;) and she'll definitely start to remember things, and I can assure you, she KNEW what Hannibal was before the accident *gasp* :) 3) THANK YOU YOU ARE SO SWEET! And things will definitely get more and more interesting as she remembers more and more of what has happened before… But thanks again for reviewing!_

_Guest: Yes I have thought about a beta, and I'm looking for one at the moment, but until I have found one, there will be some faults here and there, I'm sorry :/_

_Now, let's get on with the story!_

_Song I've been listening to on repeat while writing this chapter: Panic! At The Disco – Nicotine. It's a really great song from a really great band, so do check them out! :)_

* * *

**Chapter 9: Breakdown**

I stayed upstairs, sitting in the hallway. I was leaning my head and back to the wall. Staring off into space. I didn't know what to think about what had just occurred. In the time he was here, he hadn't acted violent or had thrown me dark looks. He hadn't been angry, he had sounded and looked tired and sad. Why had he looked sad? God, I needed to find out more about what had happened, and what part of my life he had been.

And if I thought about it, I hadn't been scared of him, for once. I just felt the desperate need to know more. About my life, but also about him. And not only out of need, but also out of curiosity, I realized. I could understand the need, that was logical. But the curiosity puzzled me. How could I feel curious about him? It was the kind of curiosity you had about someone you found interesting. That's why I didn't understand, I wasn't interested in him, was I? No I wasn't. Or was I?

"Gosh I'm so fucked up." I whispered to the empty house.

My feelings didn't make any sense to me anymore. I didn't really know how I felt about Hannibal. And Will… I definitely was attracted to him, and I cared for him a lot, although I've only known him for about a week now.

I didn't know what to think anymore. I was completely messed up and my head hurt like crazy. I put my head down in my hands and screamed. I let it all out. Then I started crying uncontrollably, my sobs loud and painful.

I was having a breakdown caused by everything that was happening at the moment. The memory loss, the dreams, Hannibal, Will, my messed up feelings about everything… The metaphorical bucket was full, so to speak. It was now spilling over. I had had enough of practically everything.

And then I felt arms around me, lifting me up and carrying me downstairs. He put me down on the bed and laid down next to me, his arms around me, his one hand gently stroking my back and the other one stroking my hair. I put my arms around his waist and cried into his chest. My sobs were still loud and my breathing was starting to get faster and faster as I started to hyperventilate.

Will released his arms from me to hold my face between his hands, forcing me to look into his calming eyes. "Shhhhh Victoria, calm down. I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I want to take care of you, but you have to let me, okay? Breathe, slow and steady. I'm going to show you how and then I want you to do it together with me alright?" he whispered.

Still crying and hyperventilating, I softly nodded my head. He then started to breath in through his mouth, very slowly. Then he breathed out again in the same pace. He kept doing this until I managed to breathe together with him. We stared into each other's eyes and I stopped crying as my breath became steady again.

When I was breathing normal again, he pressed a kiss to my forehead and put his arms back around me, pressing me tightly against him. I buried my face in his chest again as he put his chin on the top of my head.

We remained laying like this. It felt very comfortable and I felt safe, protected by the man I loved.

Wait, loved?

I was surprised at that thought, but then realized it was true. I loved Will Graham. I was sure of it now. How could I have ever thought I didn't know how I felt about him? I freaking loved him. But what was I going to do with it? I mean, we've only known each other for about a week. Yet I was sure I loved him. How did this happen?

My thoughts were interrupted by my sudden yawn. I knew that he had heard it, because he whispered "Sleep, I'll watch over you."

I nodded, but then moaned when he let go of me and got up from the bed. "Please… Stay." I mumbled.

I heard him swallow and then he took off his shoes, trousers and shirt, leaving on his boxers and T-Shirt. He pulled up the sheets over me and slid under them as well. I crawled back over to him and put my arms around him. He did the same and we were laying down in the same position as before again.

"Good night Will" I whispered and closed my eyes.

"Good night Victoria" he whispered back and I felt his lips on my forehead.

"Please call me Tori" I mumbled sleepily as I snuck my head deeper to his chest.

"Good night Tori" he whispered, barely audible and he tightened his arms around me.

Maybe he felt the same way, maybe he loved me too, I thought as I slowly fell asleep with his lips on my forehead.

* * *

When I woke up, I was still lying in Wills arms, in the same position as I had fallen asleep in. Sunlight shone through the windows. I looked up to Will and I saw that he was still asleep. He looked peaceful and it appeared he didn't have any nightmares either. I noticed that whenever we slept together in the same bed, neither of us had any nightmares. Maybe I could convince him to sleep together from now on.

I watched his calm expression as I brought a hand up to his face to wipe away a strand of hair that had fallen over his forehead, and I left my hand at the side of his face, stroking his cheek with my thumb.

I thought of how sweet he had been last night. He was just sweet in general to be honest. Which made me love him even more. I again wondered if he loved me too, just thinking of how caring he had acted the night before.

I crawled up a bit, bringing my face on the same level as his and pressed my forehead against his. I put my arms gently around his neck and closed my eyes again. He shifted a bit and tightened his arms around my back. "Tori" he mumbled. I opened my eyes and saw he was still asleep. A warm feeling washed over me. He was saying my name in his sleep, I thought. Was he dreaming about me?

I stroked my hand through his hair and he sighed happily, which made me laugh silently. I closed my eyes again and drifted off into a light slumber.

When I opened them again, his eyes were open and were watching me with a soft look in them. Our foreheads were still pressed together, my arms were still around his neck and his arms were still around me as well.

"Good morning Mr. Graham" I said smiling.

He smiled back as he said "Good morning Ms. Harris."

"Have you slept well?"

"Yes I did, as a matter of fact" he replied, a small grin on his face.

"What about you?" He then asked me, and I could see a glint of concern in those beautiful eyes.

"I slept great. You keep the nightmares away" I whispered the last part.

He didn't reply, but just tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.

We stared into each other's eyes, not saying anything, enjoying the silence and the company of the other.

I felt things had changed between us, we were more clingy now and also more affectionate. Again I wondered about how he felt, and realized there was only one way to find out.

Thinking it was now or never, I pressed a chaste kiss to his lips and pulled back. He looked surprised at first, but then leaned over to me and kissed me back. We closed our eyes, lost in the kiss. Our lips opened and our tongues intertwined as the kiss became more passionate. We put all our held-up emotions for each other in it as we tried to become one, pushing our bodies together tightly.

The kiss went on for what felt like forever and when we pulled our lips apart, we were both breathing heavily. Our eyes locked and remained that way for a long time, telling each other dozens of unspoken things with just our eyes. We had our hands around the face of the other, not wanting to let go.

"Well, that was… wow" Will finally spoke up, his voice raw.

I grinned and said "Yeah, it was."

He grinned back and pressed another chaste kiss to my lips.

I felt bad when we had to pull apart because of Wills phone, which was ringing noisily. It had been Jack who'd called, Will had to go to his office. I didn't feel much like going and told Will I'd rather stay at home that day. He got ready and we kissed again before he left.

I grinned and turned in the sheets, stretching out the same way a cat does. Question answered, I thought. He loved me too.

* * *

A week had passed since our first kiss and things were going great. Will was not allowed to work in the field with the FBI for a while, because he had shot Garrett Jacob Hobbs. So, except for the occasional lectures, and the hospital visits at Abigail Hobbs, we were at home mostly and just enjoyed each other's company. Cuddling, kissing and sleeping together (not sexually) had become things we did on a daily basis. I didn't have any nightmares, and neither did he. Like I said, things were going great.

I looked up from the book I was reading to the clock that was hanging on the wall. Will would be home soon. He had gone out for a lecture, and most of the time I went with him, but once in a while I'd rather stay home. Just sitting cozy on the couch under a blanket, reading a book, all alone, could feel so nice sometimes. I think I used to be alone often before the accident, because I certainly didn't mind. I did enjoy Wills company, I just liked being on my own sometimes too.

I put down the book when the front door opened and Will stepped inside. He came over to me and I smiled when he gave me a kiss. He smiled back, but looked a bit nervous, I noticed.

I frowned and asked him "What's wrong?"

"You don't miss anything do you," he said sighing. "I have to go through a psychological evaluation so I can get back in the field."

"But?"

"It has to be with Dr. Lecter." He said, not looking me in the eyes.

I felt a little shiver as I heard his name. Not one of fear, but one of surprise, as I hadn't expected to hear his name.

"Why? Did Jack tell you this?"

He nodded his head and said "Yes, I'm being obliged by Jack, he said it had to be with Hannibal as Alana was too close to me."

I could understand that, Alana _was_ close to him. Alana Bloom was a psychiatrist and a friend of Will. I had met her when we were visiting the Hobbs girl in the hospital. I quite liked her, she had a nice personality, just like Will. We would get along well.

"When do you have to go?" I asked him.

"Tonight" he replied, and I saw him swallowing nervously. He really didn't want to go.

I got up and walked over to him. I put my hand on the side of his face and took one of his hands with the other. "Sweetie, shall I come with you?" I asked him, looking up into his eyes.

His eyes widened and he asked me "You sure about that? You know, because it's _him_?"

I nodded my head.

He then smiled at me, a bit relieved and said "Then I would really appreciate it if you came with me. You probably won't be able to come inside, but you could wait in the waiting room?"

I smiled and nodded my head again. "Don't worry, it'll all be fine."

And it would. I had told Will all about the night Hannibal had come to the house, also telling him I wasn't afraid of him anymore. I was mostly angry at him. And I knew it would come to some sort of outburst directed at him himself, sooner or later, but I would try to stall it as long as I could, because I knew how angry he could get.

I didn't tell Will about the phone call though. I didn't know why I hadn't told him, why I was doing him a favor. Maybe it was because he could get sent to jail or something, and I still wanted to find out why he had been in my life, which would be hard to do when he was in prison? I really didn't know.

We were sitting in a comfortable silence for the rest of the afternoon. I was sitting on Wills lap on the couch, the blanket draped over us. We were both reading our book until it was time to go to Hannibal's office. We remained silent during the ride, but I held Wills hand in mine as I knew he was still nervous. He hated therapy, said it didn't work on him.

When we arrived, we went to sit in the waiting room. In contradiction to Will, who stood up, I remained sat when the door to Hannibal's office opened.

"Please come in Will." He said in his accent, before his eyes looked over to me.

"Tori."

"Hannibal." I replied coldly.

"Are you going to wait for him?" he asked me.

"Yes I am" I said, my face and voice cold as ice.

He just nodded his head and motioned at Will to step inside his office.

"Wait a second" I suddenly said.

I stood up and walked over to Will. I pressed a quick kiss on his lips and whispered in his ear "Everything will be okay" I smiled at him and he nodded.

I turned and sat down again on the chair on which I had been sitting before and glanced at Hannibal. He had a dark look on his face, filled with emotions. I could see anger, hurt, confusion and even _jealousy. _He then looked away and they both walked into his office, him slamming the door shut just slightly.

I then realized, as I thought about all his looks, especially the one right after he had seen Will and me kiss, he really cared for me. Hell, if I interpreted things correctly, he _loved_ me.

I grinned evilly as I thought about all the fun I could have now that I knew about this. The hurt I could cause him. Damn, I could take revenge on him, make his life miserable. If he could play games, then so could I. I sighed in delight now that I knew one of his weak spots. Me. I kept grinning as I thought about the things I could do. This is going to be so much fun, I thought.

As I was thinking, a half hour had passed and Will and Hannibal came out of his office. I jumped up and paced to Will, swinging my arms around him.

"Hey sweetie, how did it go?" I asked him, still hugging him. I looked over his shoulder at Hannibal, who was standing awkwardly in the doorway, the same look on his face as before. He narrowed his eyes as he saw me looking at him, and I did the same way, as if I were challenging him.

"Tori, it went fine. I'm okay. I can go back into the field" He said, smiling into my hair.

I saw sheer horror cross Hannibal's expression when he heard Will call me Tori. I wiggled my eyebrows at him, smirking, as if I were saying _that's right, you heard him, you're not the only person who calls me Tori anymore, what are you gonna do about it?_

He quickly blanked his expression as Will let go of me to shake Hannibal's hand, telling him goodbye, and then we left. I looked back at Hannibal over my shoulder and smirked once again at him, at which his face turned to the most infuriated expression I had ever seen. He probably had realized what I was doing to him, he wasn't dumb.

I waved my hand at him, still smirking and whispered, so Will couldn't hear it, "Goodbye, Hanni."

And then I exited the door, going after Will, trying my best to not burst out in laughter, as I didn't want Will to know what I was doing. He would only think I used him, which wasn't true. I really did love him.

We drove back home and got into bed. We were laying down spooning and Will was asleep pretty fast. I was still thinking about the way Hannibal had looked at me before I walked out. He had been so damn angry, and I hadn't been afraid. Hell, I had thought it was funny, still thought so. I grinned at the memory and slowly fell asleep. _Let the games begin, _was my last thought.


	10. Chapter 10: Identity disorder

_Hello, everyone, and welcome to the tenth chapter! What did you think about the last one? It was nice, huh? ;)_

_Shout outs: DoeEyedDarling for reviewing, UncreditedWriter for favoriting, and I also want to thank everyone that's reading this story; at this point there are almost 900 views! THANK. YOU. SO. FUCKING. MUCH. !_

_DoeEyedDarling: Thanks for reviewing! I KNOW RIGHT THEY'RE SO CUTE AAAAAAAAH ;D and yes, the tension thing is really fun to write, but Tori is playing a VERY dangerous game… Do you think Hanni will let himself be played like that? And because SHE KNEW, it will become much more dangerous once she regains the rest of her memories… But now I should stop talking or I'm gonna give away too much haha :)_

_Song I've been listening on repeat to while writing this chapter: Of Mice &amp; Men – Identity Disorder. I do get inspiration from the songs I put here, so maybe it's worth checking them out? :)_

_Onward with the story!_

_This story has been Beta'd by the lovely DoeEyedDarling! Thanks sweetie! :)_

* * *

**Chapter 10: Identity Disorder**

A few days had passed since I made my discovery about Hannibal. Will was back in the field, on a case about a man who had 'planted' people, people who were still alive at the time he buried them in the ground. He fed them sugar to keep them alive long enough for mushrooms to grow on them; he wanted to 'connect' them this way.

Things were still going great between Will and me, though I could see something was bothering him. But I didn't know what it was, as he didn't mention it, and I assumed he would talk about it when he was ready.

I was sitting at home, on the couch, drawing a portrait of Winston. This was something I had discovered the day before: I could draw. And pretty damn well, too. The things I drew were almost lifelike, because they were highly detailed; a fun discovery, because now I had something to do besides reading all the time.

The portrait of Winston was really getting along, except for the last fifteen minutes, when Winston refused to sit still. I sighed and gave up. I got up from the couch and let Winston outside, thinking that was probably the reason he was so restless. I was standing on the porch, watching the dog dart between bushes and trees, when my phone started ringing. I looked at the caller ID and smiled when I saw who it was.

I picked up and said, still smiling, "Hey, you."

I heard him grin softly as he, too, said, "Hey, you."

"What's up?" I asked him.

He sighed and he became serious. "Stammets tried to take Abigail from the hospital to 'connect' her with me. He heard about her because of that stupid Freddie Lounds."

"Oh, God, Will, is she okay? Are you okay?"

"Yes, relax, there's no reason to panic. We're both okay. I'm just tired, and relieved. We took Stammets in, he won't be 'connecting' any longer," he said, and I could hear the tiredness in his voice.

"Where are you now?" I asked him.

"I'm still at the hospital. Would you mind if I stayed here for a while?"

Still hearing the exhaustion in his voice, I felt concerned for him. "No, I don't mind at all. Maybe you could sleep there on the couch for a while, too? I mean, you sound very tired, and I wouldn't feel comfortable if I knew you were driving home exhausted. You know, you could fall asleep while driving, and, I just, I don't want to lose you, okay?" My voice trembled a bit at the end.

"Hey, it's okay, I understand. If you want me to stay a bit and sleep, then that's okay for me. But are you going to be okay? It could be that I won't get back until morning, which means you'll have to sleep alone…" he said.

I smiled at his concern and answered, "I'll be okay, don't worry about me."

"Okay, then…oh, Tori, I'm sorry, but I gotta go. I love you."

"I love you too, see you tomorrow."

"Bye, sweetheart," he said, and my heart swelled, growing warm at his words. We then hung up, me clapping my phone shut. "Winston!" I called out to the dog, wanting him to come inside again. He came running at me, his tongue hanging from his mouth. "Come on, buddy, let's get back inside."

I closed the behind us, locking it. I sat back down on the couch and let my thoughts take over my mind. Tonight would be the very first night in a while where we slept apart. _We'll both have nightmares, probably._ If I were honest with myself, I was more than a little anxious to sleep alone...but I didn't want Will to have an accident, either. He was so tired, I really _wouldn't_ be at ease if I knew he was driving out there in the dark in the state he was in.

Hours passed while I sat there on the couch, trying desperately to keep myself awake by drawing, reading, drinking coffee. I fought against the exhaustion, but the coffee wasn't doing such a great job, and I finally had to give up when my eyelids closed and wouldn't open again.

* * *

_"Dammit!" I cursed when I opened my eyes and realized I was dreaming. I had tried so hard to not fall asleep, I just didn't want to dream! Closing my eyes, I sat down on the ground and wrapped my arms around my knees, hoping I could maybe live through this dream if I just sat and did nothing._

_But my hopes were proven false when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up, and my gaze met Hannibal's. I stood up and backed away a bit, not liking it when he stood so close, even if it was only a dream._

_"You've kept me waiting here long enough, Tori," he said, his accent thick._

_I looked around and saw we were standing in a white room. Literally everything was white: the walls, the floor, the ceiling. There was no furniture, and no windows or doors, either, as far as I could tell._

_"Where's 'here'?" I asked him._

_"A place your mind has created to lock me up until this time came. I wish it would have been a more pleasant room, but I suppose I shouldn't have expected it, considering how we parted right before you got your amnesia."_

_I felt slightly shocked at how calm he sounded. "What do you mean with 'this time,' what time?" I asked._

_His expression changed from blank to determined, and he started walking towards me. "It's time for you to remember," he said, and he pressed two fingers to my forehead._

_Immediately, everything turned dark, and I couldn't see anything. "Hello? Hannibal?" I called out, but no answer came._

_Instead, I saw a small light in the distance. I walked towards it, and it became bigger, faster and faster, until, suddenly, the light was gone, as was the darkness. I was standing in what appeared to be an opera hall. I looked around and saw that there were many people there, all dressed formally. I looked down at myself and saw I was still wearing the sweatpants and jumper I'd been wearing when I fell asleep, but that didn't seem to matter, because it appeared no one was able to see me. Everyone was just standing in small groups and talking to each other, probably awaiting the time where they would be called to their seats._

_I turned to look at the grand entrance stairs, where a beautiful woman had appeared. She was wearing a long, strapless turquoise dress, which fit her body perfectly. White stilettos peeked out from under the edge of her dress. Her hands and the half of her arms were covered in long, white gloves. Around her neck she wore a silver necklace, which matched the silver earrings in her ears. Her make-up was done perfectly to accentuate her hazel-green eyes, and her long curled raven black hair hung loosely on her shoulders and back. With a shock, I realized that the woman was me._

_What was I doing in an opera hall? Had I liked opera? I asked myself as I saw the other me descend the stairs. Apparently, I did like the opera, because when they called out that people could take their seats, I saw myself sitting down in the first row, close to the stage._

_I went to stand at one wall of the hall, so I could watch everything that was happening. When everyone had taken their seats, I gasped as I saw Hannibal. He was sitting a few rows behind the other me, and was staring straight at her/me. I walked a little closer to him and looked at his expression. It was one of awe, admiration and lust._

_I didn't know what to think of it. Then the opera started and I saw he was still staring at me most of the time, not really seeing anything of the opera._

_When it was over, I saw myself jump up and clap enthusiastically, tears in my eyes. He followed my example, although not clapping as hard and he kept staring at me._

_After a good five minutes of clapping, I saw myself stand up to follow the others who were leaving. The other me climbed the stairs again and exited the door. I followed, and saw how she - I - was trying to get a taxi to stop, but failed every time._

_"Can I perhaps drive you home?" I heard a voice say, a voice with a painfully familiar accent. I turned around at the same time the other me did, and saw him walk up to me._

_"Excuse me?" I heard myself ask._

_"I asked, can I perhaps drive you home? A beautiful young woman like yourself shouldn't be alone out here," he said, and I saw myself blush._

_"Oh, well, that's awfully kind of you, Mr…"_

_"Lecter. My name is Dr. Hannibal Lecter."_

_"… Dr. Lecter, but I don't know. We've never met, and I don't know you…"_

_"I'm afraid I insist, I really don't want any harm to come to you. And, besides, what could happen when you're with a doctor?" he said with a smirk._

_I watched with a bit of horror as I saw myself actually grin at that. "Nothing, I suppose. All right, Dr. Lecter. Take me home."_

_He smiled at me before leaving to fetch his car. I saw us/them get in and drive off as everything faded back to black._

_When the light returned, I saw Hannibal and me in a restaurant, talking and laughing. We were clearly having a good time. After the dinner, he drove me home, and I saw how he kissed the other me passionately, before starting to leave. He didn't get very far - I saw myself pull him back for another kiss, wrapping my legs around his waist. We went back inside and I followed to the bedroom, where I saw him and me crash onto the bed._

_Once again, everything turned black. When I could see properly again, I saw myself and Hannibal sitting on the couch in his living room. I was sitting on his lap, and we were both sipping a glass of wine as we conversed._

_"I love you, Tori," he said, and leaned his head against my shoulder._

_"I love you too, Hanni," I heard myself say._

_Everything turned black again, and I was starting to get dizzy, as everything was speeding up. When I opened my eyes this time, I was at Hannibal's house, in the kitchen, and I immediately knew this was the night I had lost my memory._

_I watched as I saw him cut up a pair of lungs, and realized they were human lungs, I knew what they looked like, as I had a medicine degree. I was a doctor, I remembered, the joy I felt at reclaiming my past tainted by the sickness I felt as I watched him. He was alone, until the other me walked in. I saw sheer horror cross my face as she/I made the same realization. He noticed it, too._

_"Tori, stay calm, I can explain…" he started, but I apparently didn't want to hear, and ran off._

_I already knew what happened from there._

* * *

I jerked up, screaming, and fell from the couch. "No, no, no, no, no, NO!" I shouted, standing up. I started pacing while I kept yelling. This wasn't right, all those things I saw had _not_ happened, I tried to convince myself. But deep down, I knew it was the truth. I had been Hannibal's and he had been mine, I was a doctor, a surgeon. I remembered everything.

_Everything._

I quickly changed clothes, pulled on my sneakers, and went outside to take a walk. I left the dogs inside. I didn't want any company.

It was still early, around six o'clock in the morning, but it was already clear outside. Will hadn't come home, so I figured he had stayed at the hospital, probably still asleep, seeing as how he hadn't called yet.

_What am I going to do now?_ I thought.

It didn't change how I felt about Will, definitely not. And, if I thought about it, I didn't feel anything for Hannibal - or maybe I had, and that had changed when I saw him cut up a pair of freaking _human lungs_. I mean, he was a _cannibal._ That would explain the feeling I got when I first heard about Hobbs being one, too, the feeling that I had known one before I got amnesia.

Well, that question was answered now.

Was I going to tell Will I remembered? Were these memories I wanted Will to know? Did I want Will to know me and Hannibal had been together? We had been pretty serious, by the looks of it. Did I want Will to know Hannibal was a cannibal? Did I want to let him know anything I remembered?

I thought it through for a while before coming to a decision.

_No. _

I wasn't going to let him know. I didn't want things to change - I was happy with how they were right now. I loved him, and he loved me. There were no uncomfortable things between us and I wanted to keep it that way.

_And what about Hannibal?_

I sighed. "Hannibal the Cannibal," I mumbled.

I wasn't going to let him know either. _If Will can't know, neither can he_. Besides, I was still furious at him. My fear hadn't returned, which was odd, as I now knew _he_ _fucking eats people. _I was just...angry at him.

Was I going to continue my game? Yes, I was. Definitely, now that my suspicions had been confirmed. He did love me, I'd sensed that, I just hadn't expected to discover I had loved him, too. But that didn't change anything about the fact I was pissed off at him. So, yeah, I would keep up my game, I would keep hurting him. He deserved it after all.

_Hannibal the Cannibal._

I was still walking, and when I turned around I couldn't see the house anymore. Not that I really cared at the time, I was glad to be completely surrounded by silence, and I was enjoying the fresh air; it helped me think clearly.

I didn't know how long I walked, I just knew I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop, but I couldn't continue any longer when I heard someone call out my name.

I came back down to earth, snapping out of my trance. I looked up and saw the sun was already setting. I suddenly noticed I was shivering, as I wasn't wearing a coat. My feet hurt, too, and my body was tired. I stopped and turned around to see who had called my name. I saw I had been walking at the side of a road. A car was driving slowly next to me and stopped as I stopped. The door of the driver's side opened, and Jack Crawford walked up to me.

"Victoria, get in the car, please? Will is worried sick about you."

I blinked my eyes a couple of times and then nodded my head as I did what I was told. He got back in the car and we drove off. He called Will to let him know he had found me and then he became silent. But after a while he asked me, "Now, are you going to tell me what you were doing all the way out here? You're, uh, pretty far from home."

I hesitated at first, thinking of what I would say.

"I, uh…I had a bad dream and I wanted to get some air. So I went outside and started walking, and I just forgot about time." I said.

"Yeah, right. I'm going to ask you again, what happened?" he asked, his face open and without judgment.

I froze for a second, thinking, _am I really so transparent?_

I swallowed and decided I could tell him. I trusted he wouldn't tell either of them.

"I did have a dream. I remember everything now. I'm a surgeon, I love the opera, and Hannibal Lecter was my boyfriend."

He turned his head to me, eyes widened in shock, his mouth opening slightly.

"Don't look at me like that. I know it's shocking. That's why I ran off. I needed some time to think everything through, to think of what I would do with all these memories. And I've decided not to tell Will, and Hannibal either. So I would appreciate it if you would keep this to yourself," I said.

He looked like he was about to say something, but then he closed his mouth and just nodded his head. "I won't tell them. But can I ask you why you don't want to tell them you remember?"

"I don't want anything to change. Because it didn't change my feelings for Will. I still love him_._ And it didn't change my feelings for Hannibal either, I still feel nothing for him. If I told either of them, things would become awkward, and I don't want that," I said.

He nodded his head in understanding. After that, we were silent until we got to the house. The lights were on, and I could see Will pacing inside. I sighed, telling Jack goodbye as I exited the car.

Will must have heard the car door slamming shut, because suddenly the door opened, and he ran outside. I walked up to him as he pulled me in a tight embrace. I hugged him back, and it felt like coming home.

"Please, don't make me worry like that again," he said, and I heard his voice tremble.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "I'm sorry for worrying you, sweetie. I just went for a walk and got lost. I forgot my cell here, so I couldn't call you, so I just kept walking. I'm really sorry."

He stroked a strand of hair out of my face and kissed me softly. "It's okay, just...don't do it again," he whispered.

I nodded my head, and we let go of each other to go inside. We sat down on the couch and Will draped a blanket over me, as I was still shivering, and cuddled up at my side.

"So, what has your day been like, apart from me going missing?" I asked him nonchalantly.

He turned his gaze away and said, "Yeah, about that...I have to tell you something."

"What do you want to tell me, sweetie? It's okay," I said, my voice soft.

"I'm going to keep seeing Hannibal Lecter as my psychiatrist. I've already gone back to him twice, and it kind of helps me to process the things I see when working on a case," he said nervously, and I knew he felt bad about this.

_Another reason why I can't tell him_, I thought. _He needs Hannibal._ If I told him, Hannibal wouldn't help anymore, and Will wouldn't have a way to cope with seeing the horrors of crime scenes.

"It's okay," I told him. "It doesn't matter who you see, I just want you to be okay."

"What did I do to deserve you?" he asked, smiling. He put his head on my shoulder, and I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty at his words. Yes, what _did _he do to deserve me?

What did he do to end up with someone as fucked up as me?


	11. Chapter 11: How could I have been so stu

_Hello everyone! I know it's been a while, but I had a lot of schoolwork, and I've started my internship. So yeah, I've been pretty busy._

_Anyways, let me know what you think of this chapter, it's a little bit different from the other chapters I've written, but I wanted to try something out. So tell me what you think!_

_This chapter takes places between episode 2 and 3, so this isn't something from the series._

_And I'm not gonna do real shout-outs anymore, but I still want to thank everyone who follows, favorites and reviews my story. SO THANK YOU :)_

_Now, onwards with the story!_

_Song I've played a lot while writing this chapter: Bring Me The Horizon – Alligator Blood_

* * *

**Chapter 11: How Could I Have Been So Stupid?**

It was about 5 pm when Jack Crawford raised his head in surprise as he saw Will burst into his office. The expression on his face told Jack enough: something was very, very wrong.

"Do you know where she is?"

Confusion filled Jack's face as he answered, "Who, Victoria? No, I don't know where she is, why?"

Will let out a shaky breath, covering his face in his hands for a moment. When he looked back up again, he said softly, "Because I can't find her. I've looked everywhere. She's just … _gone._"

Jack felt his cop side take over. "When was the last time you saw her?"

"This morning, right before I left for my class. When I came back, she wasn't there anymore," he answered.

"And you didn't have a fight or anything? Was there any reason for her to leave the house without letting you know?"

Will felt a slight stab of anger at what Jack was implying. "No, everything was fine, we didn't fight. And there was no reason why she would leave the house. She couldn't go anywhere, anyway. I had the car."

"You do remember what happened two weeks ago, when she just went for a walk and got lost? Couldn't that have happened again?"

"No. She said she wouldn't do that anymore, she promised me" Will said, almost snarling at Jack.

Jack, who noticed how Will was getting very worked up, said "Will, calm down, I'm only trying to help." He waited for Will to take a deep, shaky breath, after which Will nodded his head. "Now, is there anything of her stuff missing, like her purse, or her clothes?"

Will shook his head. "No, everything is still at home, even her coat and shoes are still there. I mean, she wouldn't go out without shoes or a coat, now would she?"

Jack was feeling alarmed now, too. "Yes, that's not really normal. I'll file a missing person report, get people looking for her."

Will nodded his head and sighed heavily. He walked up to one of the comfy chairs at Jacks desk and sat down on it, his head in his hands again.

Jack watched him, and felt sympathy for him. "Will, look. We're going to find her. She'll be okay." Will just nodded his head.

He hated feeling so helpless. He couldn't really do anything to find her, it was in the police' hands now. He could only wait, and hope she would be okay. He couldn't lose the one thing in his life that he truly loved...the light of his life...He wouldn't know what to do without her.

* * *

_One week earlier…_

I rolled over on the couch, bored out of my mind. A week had passed since I had regained my memories and I was still processing the things I had remembered. I just couldn't believe I had ever loved Hannibal. I knew it was true, but I just couldn't imagine how or why I had loved someone as crazy as him. True, I didn't know he was a cannibal, until that one night. That night had changed everything, and I no longer loved him, as I had found out he was a freaking _cannibal._

But what I didn't get, was why I didn't notice it sooner. I mean, we had been together for months, before I finally found out. There must have been signs, right? Then again, maybe there had been, and I just hadn't been smart enough to see them.

And all those meals he had made me - I had eaten it all. _I had eaten human flesh and organs._ I still felt sick at the thought. The first time I had realized this, I had gone straight to the bathroom to throw up.

Ugh, I had been angry with him even before, but now I was pissed off at him for making me eat human flesh. I mean, it was bad enough that _he_ was a cannibal, he didn't have to include me in his sick habits. _Asshole._

I snapped out of my vicious thoughts when the door opened. I jumped up and walked over to the door to greet Will, who had just returned from his class. He smiled at me as I kissed him on his stubbly cheek.

"Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?" he said, smiling, and I grinned at his words, getting warm on the inside.

"Booooorriinng," I said in a singsong voice. "I had nothing to do. I didn't feel like reading or drawing, so I just laid down on the couch, bored out of my freaking mind," I complained. Will coughed, trying to cover up the fact he was laughing at me. I smacked him on the arm playfully. "Don't laugh at me! At least you can go out. I'm stuck here all day."

He smiled and kissed the top of my head. "I'm sorry, you're right. I would be bored too."

I went to sit on the couch and he sat down next to me, his arm over my shoulders.

"Maybe I should get a job," I suddenly said.

Will regarded me with a surprised expression. "You sure you want that?"

"Yeah," I said, shrugging. "I mean, why not? I wouldn't be just here all day, and I would have something to keep myself busy with."

Will nodded his head, seeming to understand. "All right then. Shall I get you the newspaper?" He smiled.

"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "It can wait till tomorrow. I'm kind of really comfy right now." I snuggled deeper into his embrace, my arms tightly locked around his waist, my head on his chest. I felt his body shake in silent laughter. We sat like this for a while, until I heard Will sigh and let go of me to get up. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"I forgot to tell you, I have an appointment with Dr. Lecter tonight." I could tell he didn't really feel like going.

I started to get up as well, and went to put on my shoes. "I'll come with you."

"You sure?" he asked me, his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Yeah, I don't want to stay indoors all day," I said as we pulled on our coats. He nodded his head, and we left.

We drove in silence, during which time I let my thoughts run free. This would be the first time I would see Hannibal again after I had remembered. How was I going to act towards him? I didn't want him to know I remembered, that was for sure. _So that means I'll have to keep up my game._ Otherwise he would notice if I acted differently.

_But that doesn't matter at all. Hehe. Let him burn._

"We're here," Will said, snapping me out of my thoughts. We got out of the car and entered the building, sitting down in the waiting room. After about five minutes, we heard the door to Hannibal's office open.

"Hello Will, Victoria," he greeted us.

It appeared he only called me Victoria whenever he was pissed at me. Right now, he probably was still pissed for the last time we had seen each other, when I had started my game. _Good. _I smiled politely at him. "Hello, Dr. Lecter."

He closed his eyes in exasperation for a second, and then turned to Will. "Please, come in, Will." They entered his office, and the door closed behind them. I sighed and picked up the newspaper which laid down on the small side table next to me. _Might as well look for a job,_ I thought.

After about half an hour, I put the paper down again, having found nothing interesting. I sighed again. I was bored now and hoped they wouldn't be too long anymore. Trying to keep myself busy, I started humming a song I had heard on the radio.

"_The sound of the wind is whispering in your head, can you feel it coming back? Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running till we're there. We're coming home now, we're coming home now,"_ I sang softly. I rather liked the song, but I didn't know what it was called. I shrugged, deciding I would look it up later.

I looked up to see the door opening. Will smiled at me and came over to me, ready to leave. I smiled back at him and stood up from my seat. I was already turning to the door when I heard Hannibal call out to me. "Victoria."

Turning my gaze to him, I asked him, "Yes?"

"Will told me you are looking for a job, is that correct?" he asked me, and I flicked my gaze to Will, who was avoiding looking at me.

"Uhm…yeah, I am. Why?" I asked him, feeling a bit nervous as to why he would ask me this.

"Because I have a vacancy for a secretary position here at my office, if you would like of course. I would be very happy to have you working for me," Hannibal said, looking me straight in the eyes, as if he were challenging me:_ I dare you, Tori. _

_I __**dare**__ you._

I narrowed my eyes at him and answered, "Yes, that sounds great, actually. When can I start?" Both men widened their eyes in surprise; they hadn't been expecting me to actually take the job. Hannibal quickly recovered and said, "Tomorrow, if that's all right."

"I'll be here at, um, let's say...nine o'clock. That okay?" I asked him, letting him know that if I was going to be working for him, it was going to be on my conditions.

"Fine," he said curtly.

"Fine," I said, matching his tone. I turned to the door, which Will had already exited, I noticed. "We'll discuss the details later. See you tomorrow, _Hanni._" I said, the last part in a mocking tone, after which I walked out the door. Right before the door closed, I heard him sigh heavily.

The next morning, I woke up feeling irritated, nervous, and even more irritated because I was nervous. I decided to look professional, so I put on black trousers, a white shirt under a black blazer and flats. I pulled my hair up in a bun and put on a little bit of make-up. I had breakfast with Will, before we left and he dropped me off at Hannibal's office.

I wasn't angry at Will for telling Hannibal I wanted a job. Naturally, I had asked him about it, to which he replied that Hannibal had wanted to know how I was doing and stuff. Will couldn't help it that Hannibal happened to have a vacancy, so yeah, I wasn't angry at him.

I entered the building and at exactly nine o'clock, I knocked on the door to his office, quietly sighing.

"Come in," I heard him call out and I opened the door. Walking into his office, I looked around in awe. I had to give him that, he had a gorgeous office. A lot of open space, nice leather seats, a massive desk and pieces of art which looked very expensive. But what I admired the most, was the library, which surrounded the office a level higher and which you could access with a ladder.

Remembering I was not alone in the room, I looked over at Hannibal, and the look in his eyes disturbed me. He was watching me with a look of pure admiration and lust.

When he noticed I was looking at him, he quickly blanked his expression.

"Good morning, Victoria. How are you?" he asked me. He was always so polite...it was so goddamn _irritating_.

"I'm fine, thanks," I answered him. "So, what do I have to do?"

He stood up and walked into the waiting room, telling me to follow him. At one wall of the room stood a small desk, which I hadn't noticed before. Hannibal told me this was going to be my working space, and explained my tasks to me. He told me to expect the arrival of his first patient at around half past nine, before entering his office again. I sighed, sat down, and got to work.

The day went by pretty fast, and so did the next couple of days. We hardly talked, and when we did, it was strictly professional. Working for Hannibal Lecter wasn't that bad, and before I knew it, the week was almost over.

It was 5pm, and after the last patient, who had an appointment at half past five, I was free to go. Coincidentally, Will was that last patient.

I looked up from the agenda when I heard someone enter. It was Will, and I automatically started smiling.

"Hey, you're early, your appointment is not until another half an hour."

He smiled back at me and said "I know, but my class was over and I thought I could keep you company."

"Well, come over here then," I said, grinning slyly.

He walked over to me and I stood up. He held my face between his hands before he softly planted his lips on mine.

Suddenly feeling very aroused, I kissed him back harshly and our kiss became more and more passionate. Will turned me and sat me down on my desk, his hands pulling through my hair. My hands were around his neck and we were both breathing heavily. When I started losing my balance, I put a hand down on the desk, accidently pushing a stapler to the floor, which landed with a loud thump. Not noticing, I kept kissing Will feverishly, wanting nothing more than to have him, right now.

But we were pulled out of our trances when we heard someone clear his throat. We turned around, blushing, and saw Hannibal standing in the door to his office. We let go of each other and I came of my desk, straightening my clothes and my hair. I looked back at Hannibal, still blushing, and saw how angry he was. He was furious, and I tried to hold back a grin. I don't know why, but whenever he was angry, I just found it funny. And the look on his face right now, was fucking _priceless._

Will, on the other hand, was obviously uncomfortable. He walked over to Hannibal and said, avoiding eye contact with the doctor, "I…We're sorry about this, we, um…got kind of distracted for a moment. It won't happen again, we promise."

Hannibal looked over to me and I nodded my head.

He looked back over at Will and took a deep breath, calming himself down. "Apologies accepted. Now, please come in. Since you're already here, we might as well just start our appointment."

Will nodded his head and entered the office. Hannibal looked at me once more before closing the door, and this time I couldn't hold back my grin. I saw the anger cross his eyes again when he realized why I was grinning, and he nearly slammed the door shut.

Now that I was alone again, I had the chance to calm down again. Our kiss had made me feel _really...hot,_ and I waved some air to my face in an attempt to cool down. I walked up to the small mirror on the wall and straightened my hair, combing it with my fingers.

When I had finally calmed down, I was surprised when I heard the door to Hannibal's office open. It had only been twenty minutes?

They walked out of the office and Hannibal shook Will's hand. "Until the next time, Will."

Will nodded his head and said goodbye. He walked over to my desk, but I wasn't ready yet. So I said to him, "Sweetie, you can wait outside for me, I still have to pack up my stuff. I'll see you in a minute." He smiled at me and turned to exit the building.

When the door closed behind him, Hannibal turned to me. "Victoria, when you have packed your 'stuff,' could you come into my office for a moment?" I swallowed and nodded my head, after which he went back into his office. I quickly gathered my things and put them in my purse, feeling a bit nervous. _I really don't have a good feeling about this,_ I thought as I knocked on his door.

When he called for me to come in, I opened the door, quietly walked in and closed it behind me. I walked over to his desk and stood still in front of it. He didn't look at me at first, and when he did, he looked tired, but also very annoyed. "Victoria, could you please not behave that way to me anymore?"

"What way would that be?" I asked, playing innocent.

"I think you know what I mean," he answered me darkly.

I crossed my arms and sighed. "You mean my little game, in which I hurt your tiny whiny feelings?" I asked him in a mocking tone. "I'm sorry, _Hanni,_ I'm just having too much _fun."_

I saw the anger flash up in his eyes and remembered he hated the rude, which made me giggle.

"Why would you do that?" he asked me, almost growling.

I sighed again and became irritated and angry myself. "You know _damn_ why. Because of all the _fucking shit_ you've done! Calling to the Hobbs house, which caused everything that happened there; making me tremble in fear of you, making me have a serious mental breakdown; my fucking amnesia; and last but not least, being a freaking _cannibal_!"

I froze and shock filled my face when I realized what I had done. _NO! How could I have been so stupid?_! I had called him a cannibal. He didn't know I knew. But now he did_…Dammit!_

Looking over at him, I saw shock also fill his face when he realized the same thing. "Tori… You remember?" he asked me softly.

Taking a few steps back, fear filling my entire being, I quickly shook my head. "N-n-n-no…" He got up, and I saw his expression darken and his face twist in anger as he walked up to me. I kept stepping back, away from him, until I felt my back hit the ladder to his library, and I couldn't get away before he got to me. He placed his hands on the sides of the ladder, right beside my head. He brought his face up to mine until our faces were only inches apart.

"I have told you before" he whispered darkly. "Don't. Lie. To. Me." Unable to say anything, I just watched him in fear. "Victoria Harris, you've been terribly rude and terribly naughty," he said, his voice both soft and threatening. "Now, what should be done about that?"

When I heard him say that, I felt shivers go down my spine and my knees became weak. But somehow, I felt something different, too. Was that_…arousal? No, it can't be._ Though I felt like I'd felt it before.

And I had, I realized. It had been when he and I had been together, he had said the same thing to me once, after which we had had rough, angry sex.

_Damn._

Thinking of this, I felt my cheeks burn. He was still watching me, his face only inches apart from mine. Trying to find a way to get away, I said, "Will is waiting for me outside. You better let me go. If you hurt me, he'll immediately know it was you, and your dirty little _secret_ will be revealed."

Horror and anger filled his face as he stepped back. I quickly grabbed my purse and ran to the door. Opening it, I yelled at him, "I quit!" and exited the building.

When I walked out of the front door, I cleared my face of any emotion and calmly walked over to the car, where Will was waiting for me. _He doesn't need to know about this, I still don't want him to know._ I didn't know why I was still protecting Hannibal. All I had to do was tell Will or Jack and he would be locked up in prison for the rest of his life. Why didn't I just tell?

I got into the car, a soft smile on my face. "Hey, you," I said.

He smiled back and started the car. "Hey, you," he replied.

"I just quit my job," I said calmly, sounding almost bored.

Shock and surprise filled his face. "What? Why?"

I shrugged and said, "I was still bored, and I didn't really like the job anyways, so...yeah. I quit."

He softly chuckled. "You're so cute when you're bored, you know that?"

I playfully smacked his arm and said, "Don't laugh at me, it's not funny." But I started laughing myself, feeling the tension wash away from me as Will soothed my nerves. We got back home, changed into our pajamas and got into bed.

Will woke me up by kissing me on the top of my head. I opened my eyes and saw he was already fully dressed, ready to leave for his class. I smiled at him and said, "Good morning, Mr. Graham."

He smiled back at me and replied, "Good morning, Ms. Harris."

I chuckled. "Do you really have to go?"

"I'm afraid so, sweetheart," he said, and like every time he called me sweetheart, I got all warm on the inside. "But, hey, it's only for two hours," he said as he stood up and walked to the door.

I pouted and said, "Bye, William, I love you"

He grinned. "I love you too." And with that, he left the house. I heard his car leave and rolled over in the bed, stretching myself out. I closed my eyes again and enjoyed the coziness of the bed.

After about five minutes, I heard a car drive up the driveway. Thinking it was Will, and he had come back because he had forgotten something, I ignored it and rolled back over, my back towards the door. I heard the door open, but froze when I heard the footsteps, footsteps that weren't Will's. Will's sneakers sounded soft on the floor, but these made a clicking noise, as if they were from dress shoes.

I remained still, acting as if I were asleep, but my instincts were yelling at me to _get the fuck away. _

The footsteps walked through the room and stopped at my side of the bed. Then I heard nothing for a while, as if the person was just standing there, watching me. My curiosity got the better of me and I opened my eyes, and looked straight into Hannibal's eyes.

I screamed when he reached over and put a small, wet towel on my face. I panicked when I recognized the smell - chloroform_. _I thought one last word before everything turned black.

_Shit._


	12. Chapter 12: Feels like forever

_Well, well, well… Hello Fannibals… *grins mischievously*_

_I hope you liked the last chapter ;) things are about to get really interesting, aren't they?_

_I would like to thank everyone for following, favoriting and reviewing! At this point, I have 18 followers, 10 favorites, 11 reviews and almost 2000 views! THANK YOU!_

_To give you a heads up, I am thinking about changing the rating to M in a few chapters… Not entirely sure yet, but it is definitely an option… Hehe ;)_

_Also, I want to thank my lovely beta DoeEyedDarling for beta-ing and sticking with this story, THANK YOU SWEETIE :)_

_WARNING: things will get… dark… in this chapter…_

_And now, onward with the story!_

_Song I think matches this chapter: Of Mice &amp; Men – Feels Like Forever_

* * *

**Chapter 12: Feels Like Forever**

Blinking my eyes, feeling nauseous, I tried to accustom to the fact I was awake again. I tried to sit up, but let myself fall back on the bed on which I was laying, feeling dizzy. I closed my eyes again, and fell back asleep, still feeling the effect of the chloroform.

When I woke up again, the dizziness and the nausea were gone and I was able to sit up without feeling the urge to throw up. I took in my surroundings. I was sitting on a double bed, covered with ocean-blue silk sheets, in a large bedroom with a closet, a desk, and a chair, and the windows were half-covered by dark blue curtains. There also was a door, which I assumed led to a bathroom.

I slowly stood up from the bed, walked to the door, and opened it._ Bathroom, indeed._ I closed it again and walked over to the other door, the way out. I tried that door, but it was locked. I growled in frustration. Then I remembered the events that had happened before and realized: I was in Hannibal's house. He had taken me..._what, yesterday? Or maybe only a few hours before?_ I had no idea how long I had been asleep. The light shining through the windows was slowly darkening, so I guessed it was nearly evening.

I started pacing the room, annoyed, both frustrated and a little bit scared.

_A "little bit" scared? Okay, that's a lie. I'm scared as hell._

_Ugh. Why couldn't he just leave me alone? Why take me?_

_You know why. He knows you know. He's not going to let you walk free and take the risk you might go to the police now, is he?_

_Wow, talking to myself? Good job, Tori. You're losing it._

My head jerked towards the door when I heard a key in the lock. My pulse quickened and I backed away from the door when it opened, Hannibal walking through it. He locked the door again behind him so that I couldn't escape.

At first, he just regarded me with a strange look in his eyes. I stared back at him, trembling with fear, and I mentally cursed myself for being this afraid of him again. _But he kidnapped me. Isn't fear a normal response?_

He straightened himself, cleared his face of any emotion, and said, "I'd figured you'd be awake by now. You've been unconscious for the past two days."

_Two days? I've been here for two days already? Poor Will…he must me so worried about me._

"Please, let me go," I said softly, my voice shaking slightly.

A soft, sad expression filled his face. He took a few steps towards me and I backed away some more. When my legs hit the bed, I crawled onto it, my back against the headboard, my knees pulled up to my chest. He hesitated a bit, but then he came to sit at the edge of the bed, close to my feet. He raised his hand to lay it down on my knee, but, despite my fear, I managed to hiss at him, "Don't touch me!"

He sighed and pulled his hand back, but he remained sitting on the bed.

"Tori, I'm sorry. I can't let you go, not now you remember what I am. I can't risk it, you might go to the police," he said, soft but determined.

"But...I-I've known about that phone call to the Hobbs house for weeks, I've known about you being…what you are, for over a week, too, and I haven't gone to the police. And I doubt I ever will either," I said. My cheeks felt wet all of a sudden, and I realized I had been crying. I angrily wiped them away.

If he was surprised by my words, he hid it well. "I just can't risk it. One day you might decide to go to the police, after all."

I shook my head quickly. "No, I won't, I promise! Please! I won't tell anybody about this either, but please, please let me go, I will do anything if you just-" I rambled, before he suddenly interrupted me.

"No. I can't risk it!" he snapped. "You are to stay here, and that's it. Discussion closed." After that, he exited the room, slamming the door shut behind him before locking it again.

I lay down on the bed, curled up in a ball, and let my tears run free, sobbing noisily.

It took a while before I calmed down enough to stop crying. Wanting to freshen up a bit, I stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom. It was fancy, of course, with a huge shower that looked heavenly, to be honest.

I looked down on myself and noticed I was still wearing the pajamas from the morning he had taken me. I walked over to the closet, in the hope of finding something to wear. I opened the closet doors and looked at what clothes were inside. There were some shirts from his suits and some ties on the left side of the closet, but what I saw on the right side startled me. It were woman's clothing...and they appeared to be my size, as well. Then I realized: they were mine. This room had been _mine_...

_When I moved in with him, in his huge mansion, I found this room the most relaxing, with all the blue accents. He said this could be my room, as he had his own, but whenever we went to sleep, or didn't go to sleep, if you understand what I mean, it was here, in this room, on this bed._

I really didn't know how to feel about that, so I ignored it for the moment. Rummaging through the clothing, I took out a pair of grey sweatpants, a blue tank top, and a black and blue plaid shirt. Also some underwear, of course.

I went back inside the bathroom, took my clothes off and entered the shower. I had to admit, this shower was heaven. I stretched it out long enough to forget about this hell, for just a little while.

Unfortunately, I couldn't stay in the shower forever. I got out, dried myself and pulled on my clothes. I walked over to the sink and noticed there were still a toothbrush and toothpaste from when I had last been here. I shrugged and brushed my teeth. When I walked out of the bathroom, Hannibal was sitting on the edge of the bed. I froze in the doorway when he looked up to me. His face was filled with sadness and.._.regret?_

He patted the spot beside him. "Tori, please sit down."

Still fearing what he might do, I decided to just obey him, but in my own way. So I did sit down on the bed, but in a way similar as before, with my back against the headboard.

He sighed but let it go. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Tori, I apologize."

My expression turned into one of confusion; why was he apologizing? I mean, he had enough to apologize for, of course, but what was he currently apologizing for? He noticed my expression, and he apparently understood it. "For everything," he said.

I opened my mouth to tell him what he could do with his apology, but he raised his finger, interrupting me before I had even spoken.

"Please, let me say this. I truly am sorry for everything you've been through with me. But this is simply who I am, I cannot change it any more than you can change your temper." His expression softened at this last bit, before clouding over with sadness. "I assume you hate me, which I completely understand. I should have been honest with you, but you must think of something. If I had told you the truth about me, would you have stayed?" he asked me, his eyes piercing into mine.

I thought about it for a while and slowly shook my head. No, I wouldn't have stayed. I would have been just as disgusted as I had been when I coincidentally found out.

He gave me a sad smile. "See, that is why I never told you. Tori, I loved you, and I still do. I just didn't want to lose you." He sighed, and turned his gaze away from me. "But I lost you anyway," he whispered.

When he looked back up at me, I was shocked to see a tear rolling down his cheek. _Dammit_. I hated it to see other people cry, even cannib...even people like him. _Then again, I haven't exactly met many people like him before...have I?_

I saw his gaze dropping. I followed it and saw he was looking at my hand, which I had reached out halfway to him, without me even realizing it. I quickly pulled my hand back and my cheeks turned slightly red. What was I thinking? He had kidnapped me! _There's no reason for me to comfort him. _He swallowed, and the hopeful look that had appeared in his eyes vanished, turning into disappointment when he saw me pul back my hand.

"Tori, may I ask you something?" I didn't answer him, but he continued anyway. "Why didn't you go to the police?"

I hesitated, trying to find the right words. "You tell me. I don't know why I keep protecting you, you certainly don't deserve it, but I do it anyway. I just...I don't know why."

He swallowed again, licking his lips. "Could it be because you still love me?" he whispered, and I could see that spark of hope return to his eyes.

And then it hit me. The way to get out of here.

He had to trust me.

I would have to act as though I cared for him still, loved him, even. _Not too fast in the beginning, go slow._ Letting my voice tremble a bit, I whispered, "I don't know. I really don't know. And I don't understand how I can't know that. Maybe deep down, I still do, but I just can't be sure about that, you know? You hurt me so much…" Tears started to roll down my cheeks and I tensed up a bit when he reached out and wiped them away.

"Oh Tori," he said softly, and he tenderly pulled me against him and hugged me, one hand on my head, the other one stroking my back. I froze at first, but then I put my arms around him as well. _He smells nice. Wait, where did that come from? Keep it together Tori, you're acting!_

After a while, I stopped my tears and acted like I was fine again. He pulled back, but kept his hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair. "Let's find out, all right?" he said softly, and I nodded my head. He brought his face closer to mine and I realized he was about to kiss me. I placed my hand on his chest, gently pushing him back.

"Not yet," I said. "You'll have to be patient with me. Go slow."

He nodded in understanding. He got up, and he walked over to the door. "I'll bring you something to eat," he said before exiting the room. As soon as the door was locked and I heard his footsteps walk away, I slowly let my breath escape.

He returned an hour later, with a plate in his hand. He put it down on the desk and looked at me expectantly.

I got up and walked to the desk, sitting down on the chair. I eyed the plate and what was on it. I had to admit, it looked and smelled delicious. Roasted potatoes, baby carrots and pudding for dessert. But it was the piece of meat that made my stomach turn. It looked like steak, but was it really?

He must have noticed my hesitation, because he asked me, "Is something the matter?"

I swallowed and looked up at him nervously. "Is it okay if I don't eat the meat?"

His eyes narrowed a bit, before he softened his expression. "Of course…I can't force you to eat it…but I hope that in time, you will learn to appreciate it again. You ate it before you knew what it was, and you enjoyed eating it. You're only not wanting to eat it right now out of principle, which I understand, but it is rather rude."

I nodded my head and started eating, thinking about what he had said. He had a point, if I had to be honest. It was the same when people said they don't want to eat rabbit, or deer, but when they unknowingly ate it, they like it. It's kind of hypocritical, I had to admit. _But still, that counts for animals, not humans…_

I had finished the potatoes and the carrots, the only thing left on the plate was the piece of meat. I was staring at it, still feeling hungry. My stomach rumbled loudly, and Hannibal, who had decided to sit down on the edge of the bed, said, "Don't think about it, just eat. Think of it as just a regular steak, made of cow."

I swallowed and cut a little piece of meat, placing it on my fork. It trembled in my shaking hand. I slowly brought it to my mouth. Once in my mouth, I was surprised at the amount of flavor it had. It felt sick, but so good at the same time. It didn't take long for me to eat up the whole steak.

When I was done, I realized what I had just done. I had consciously eaten human meat, and I had liked it.

_Wow. That was a dark kind of hunger… _**(*)**

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see Hannibal staring down at me with a smile I could only call proud. He kissed me on my temple, picked up the plate and walked out of the room.

I stayed seated in the chair, staring at nothing in particular, feeling numb._ I should feel something. I should feel disgusted, horrified, guilty…something. _But, strangely enough, I felt nothing. If anything, I felt...peaceful. Suddenly exhausted, I dropped my head on my arms on the desk and decided to take a little nap.

Half asleep, I felt a pair of strong arms slip around me, carry me to the bed, bridal style. He slowly laid me down, and the last thing I felt before I fully fell asleep was the sensation of his lips on my forehead.

* * *

**(*)A/N: see what I did there? ;)**


	13. Chapter 13: Tides will bring me back

_Hello again, fannibals! Welcome to chapter 13, I hope you enjoyed last chapter._

_Sorry for keeping you all waiting that long! Life has been really hectic, and my exams are starting next week, so it could be three weeks from now when I post the next chapter. Sorry!_

_You might have noticed, I've started a second fanfic. That one is about the TV-show Supernatural. So if you're a fan of the show, you might as well check it out :)_

_ATTENTION: From next chapter on, the rating will be changed to M. So if you're a silent reader, you won't find it in the T section any longer. (But please, don't be a silent reader? c: )_

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited this story!_

_This story is being beta'd by the fabulous DoeEyedDarling :)_

_And now, onwards with the story!_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Tides Will Bring Me Back To You**

_Don't try to fight the storm, you'll tumble overboard._

_Tides will bring me back to you._

_~"Bring Me The Horizon" - Deathbeds_

It was dark outside when I woke up, and I guessed it was the middle of the night. But the room wasn't completely dark, as the light of a street lamp shone through the open curtains. I stretched out, freezing when my hand touched something beside me. I opened my eyes and turned my head.

_Hannibal_.

He sat beside me, his back against the headboard, his legs stretched out and his hands folded in his lap. His chest was rising and falling in a slow pace and his eyes were closed. He was sleeping - or, at least, he looked like he was asleep.

I pulled my hand back and turned on my side in a more comfortable position and settled with watching him, to make sure he wasn't going to do anything funny.

He looked different when he was asleep. That predatory look was gone. He looked peaceful, less torn, less monster, more…_human_. I found myself being fascinated with the way he looked at that moment, on my bed in the dark room. His neatly combed hair, which I wanted to ruffle up, make messy. His always fancy suit, though he had taken off his vest and waistcoat, and was lying next to me in his trousers, shirt and shoes. I wanted to unbutton his shirt a bit, to expose some of his chest. His lips, which looked very kissable –

"Dammit, Tori, stop that!" I hissed at myself. What. The. Hell. Was. I. Thinking?

_You know what he is, what he has done, you shouldn't be thinking about him in that way!_

Why was I even thinking about him in that way? I felt utterly confused. I didn't have feelings for him, or did I? No, I didn't. I couldn't have. It was just not possible. _Not again._ Not now I know everything about him.

He started to stir, probably woken up by my hiss. He opened his eyes and yawned. That was an odd sight - I didn't think I had ever seen him yawn. I couldn't hold in my laugh.

He looked at me, shocked. "Why are you laughing?"

"It- it's just..." I laughed. "I've never seen you yawn before, it looks so normal when you do that, but you're completely not normal..." I ranted while I kept laughing.

_Dammit Tori, get a grip of yourself!_

"And I must be going insane if I think that's so damn funny," I nearly shouted. I dropped my head on the pillow and pulled the sheets over my head, finally managing to stop laughing.

Even under the sheets, I heard his soft chuckle. _Did he just fucking chuckle?_ I had imagined him to be furious or something.

"You are not insane, Tori. You're just being you, the way you've always been. The way I remember you to be," he said. His voice softened and sounded tender at that last part. He slowly pulled the sheets from my face and looked me in the eyes. "I'm glad you're becoming the Tori I know again."

I swallowed while I stared back into his maroon eyes. I didn't know how to answer that, so I just remained quiet. He kept looking me in the eyes, and his expression surprised me. I could have never expected to see a look like _that _on his face. It was soft, loving and filled with fondness.

To be honest, I felt myself grow warm under his look. He was the only person, apart from Will, who had ever looked at me like that. It wasn't unpleasant.

His face slowly came closer to mine. That brought me out of my trance.

"Please, don't," I whispered, not trusting my voice to speak any louder. Because, the truth was, I kind of _wanted_ him to kiss me. I remembered the way he had kissed me when we had still been together. He was a really good kisser, and part of me was kind of curious to see if he still kissed that way. This was exactly why I didn't let him kiss me.

First of all, I didn't love him, so wanting him to kiss me was just _wrong_. Secondly, I had to remind myself to go slow, I was acting, playing a role to get out of here. I needed him to trust me. If he didn't trust me, I wasn't going to get out of this room.

He nodded in understanding, but his face saddened a bit. He stroked the hair out of my face and got up, walking out of the room. He locked the door behind him.

Although I had rejected his kiss twice now, I knew he still had hope. He still hoped for us to be together again. And that hope was exactly what I needed to keep going. If he didn't have that hope…_Well, I'm not exactly sure what would happen._ I wished I could think he wasn't going to kill me, but I wasn't entirely sure of that. _So I could still go slow, but not too slow. He's a patient man, but I shouldn't push it._

I got up from the bed, although it was the middle of the night. But that didn't matter, I wasn't tired anymore. I took a quick shower and got dressed.

When I came out of the bathroom, a plate with food stood on the desk...but no Hannibal. I shrugged and sat down at the desk, looking at what he had brought me. It was breakfast, I had no other way to describe it. Pretty funny, it being the middle of the night and all. I had gotten an omelet, mixed with sausage and bacon, and some toast with butter and a glass of juice on the side. The food was still warm, and smelled delicious. I knew the sausage and bacon were not…not what they were usually made of, but I didn't hesitate this time. I ate the entire plate without doubting, and afterwards I drank the glass of juice. _Delicious_.

Again, I thought about how I should feel something about eating...that food...but, again, I felt nothing, and it started to bother me less and less. _I mean, why should it?_ It tasted good, and no one knew about it, except Hannibal - and I had a pretty good feeling he wouldn't say anything.

I sighed, utterly bored again. There were no books in this room, neither was there any paper, so I couldn't draw, either. What else was there for me to do?

Exactly.

Nothing.

_Maybe I could ask him to bring me something, like a book or a magazine? Or maybe some paper and some pencils._ I just wanted to do _something._

A sad smile graced my face as I thought about Will. He had always laughed at me when I had been bored.

_"You're so cute when you're bored, you know that?"_

I wondered what he was doing right now. Was he looking for me? Did he miss me? Wouldn't he have suspected Hannibal to have taken me? _Probably not_. Will thought everything was okay between Hannibal and me now. He hadn't known about the little game I had played with him, the fact that he loved me, and neither did he know about all the things he had done or what he was. There was little reason for Will to suspect Hannibal.

I looked up to the door when I heard a key in the lock. Hannibal walked in, this time neatly dressed in his three-piece suit. I glanced outside the window. It was slowly clearing and becoming morning, indicating I had been sitting there for longer than I had thought.

He walked over to the window, looking outside at what was looking to become a beautiful morning. He hadn't said a word since he had entered, and I thought about what I had been thinking before he entered my room.

"Uh…Hannibal?" I asked softly.

He turned to me, his curious gaze resting on my face. He still didn't say anything, and I took it as permission to ask him something.

"Could I get something to keep myself busy with? Like a book, a magazine, or even some paper and pencils so I can draw? I'm just so _bored_ here with nothing to do."

While he watched me, I saw an amused glint appear in his eyes. "Another part of the old you, there is not a day that goes by without you being bored," he chuckled softly.

I smiled hesitantly at him, not sure how to respond.

His face became serious, and even apprehensive, when he spoke again. "I was actually thinking of letting you out of the room." He watched me closely, seeing as to how I would react. The shock and surprise I felt must have been clearly visible on my face, because he quickly added, "Under my vision of course, and not all day, but I think it wouldn't do any harm to let you out once a day."

"Really? Thank you!" I smiled brightly at him._ One more step in the right direction…_

He smiled warmly at me. "But we'll wait till after my patients have left, all right? Because my first patient will be arriving in an hour."

I nodded, still feeling the thrill of excitement. I was going to be out of this room!

"I'll bring you your sketchbook for now," he said, and then he left the room.

_Sketchbook? What does he mean?_

I shortly realized he must have meant my sketchbook from the time I had been living here, which I had obviously left here when I fled.

He brought me my sketchbook and some pencils, and after a quick kiss on my temple, he left the room with the promise to let me out when he was done with his patients. Still sitting at the desk, I turned to my sketchbook. I opened it and looked through the drawings.

The first one was one of Hannibal's house. I remembered drawing that. It had been freezing outside, but still I really wanted to draw it. And, stubborn as I was, I did. I had been sitting on the opposite side of the street on my bum for _hours _drawing this house. I chuckled at my own stubbornness. At one point, Hannibal came outside, after having seen me through the window of his office. He almost begged me to go inside, but after a while of me telling him I wouldn't move, he just sighed and draped a blanket over me. When my drawing was finally finished, and I went back inside, a cup of the most delicious hot chocolate I had ever drank had been waiting for me on the kitchen counter. I sat at the table, drinking my drink, when I felt a pair of strong arms slip around my shoulders, pressing me gently against him, and with his head on my shoulder, he pressed a kiss on my slowly warming cheek.

I couldn't help but smile at the memory.

I flipped the page. The second drawing was one of Hannibal sleeping. This had been in March, if I remembered correctly. Hannibal had been working at his desk, while I was sitting in one of his comfy patient chairs, reading a book. After a while I noticed he had fallen asleep, and I silently fetched my sketchbook. He was sprawled over his desk, his head on his arm. I wanted to draw him like how he looked at that moment: less collected and polite, carefree. I only woke him up after I had finished my drawing, and told him to go to bed. He would only do so if I came with him, and so we ended up in his bed, cuddling before falling asleep in each other's arms.

I flipped the page again.

The next drawing, was one of Hannibal in his office, talking to a patient - Franklyn, I believed. Hannibal hadn't known I had been there, at first. I had hidden myself on his leveled library. I was just silently sitting there, drawing, without anyone noticing me. But after a while, he looked up, straight at where I was sitting. I froze, thinking he would be mad at me. But when he winked at me, I blew him a kiss and winked back at him. The corners of his mouth twitched a bit, but he managed to keep his composure in front of his patient. But when Franklyn left, he came up to the library, where we did some things that made my cheeks grow warm just to think about.

I kept flipping through my sketchbook, reliving the memories of the drawings. While doing this, I slowly began to realize something. Living with Hannibal, being with Hannibal, hadn't been so bad. He obviously loved me, I had no doubts about that anymore. My cheeks went a bit red with embarrassment as I thought of all the love I had run away from. There were a lot of people out there who would never experience this sort of love. I'd had it, and I had just thrown it away.

When I got to the latest drawing, I gasped in shock. This wasn't one of my drawings. _Hannibal drew this._ A tear ran down my cheek as I gazed upon the drawing. It was a drawing of me, of the day where we had met, at the opera. He had drawn me descending those grand entrance stairs, in my pretty turquoise dress. How had he drawn me like that? Had he drawn this just by memory? I was very impressed. But what really caught my attention were the lines of text written on the backside of the page.

_To my Tori, the most beautiful star of the evening, of the world, _

_It's been exactly one year since this night, and I'm so happy you've given me the chance to get to know you, and love you. I never thought I would find someone to love me, a dull psychiatrist, but you've proven me wrong. For that, I will always be grateful to you. I hope you like the drawing. I love you. _

_Forever yours, _

_Hannibal_

Silent tears ran down my cheek and my shaking hands made me put the sketchbook down. I couldn't believe I had never seen this! This must have been drawn about three or four days before I had left.

Now I really felt guilty. To him, I had been his entire world. He had loved me like he had never loved anyone or anything else, and I just left. I mean, fear was a pretty normal response, I guess, but what if I had stayed? Would we have been able to work it out? Would I have been able to accept it? I kind of accepted it now, but would I have been reasonable that moment? No, I wouldn't have. I had to go through all this to realize.

To realize I still loved him.

* * *

By the time he returned to my room, I had accepted the fact that I still loved him. I was all tense around him, caused by that realization. If he had noticed, he didn't say anything about it. To be honest, he was pretty quiet himself. Maybe he was just a bit tense because he was letting me out of the room.

He opened the door and invited me to go downstairs with him. We went to the kitchen and dining room first, where we ate together in silence. Tension was slowly building up between us, and came to an eruption when we went to his office.

We went there because I wanted a book to read from his library. He stood at his desk, watching me while I slowly walked over to the ladder leading to the leveled library. When I reached it, I turned around, not being able to keep quiet anymore.

"I um, found the drawing," I said, my voice a bit raspy.

He just regarded me, his expression blank, though I could see a glint of sadness in his eyes.

"I really like it, thank you," I continued, nervous because he didn't say anything.

A small but sad smile graced his face for a few seconds, before he sighed. "I'm glad you got to see it after all, though it might have been better if you'd seen it before…," he said, his voice soft and sad, before he turned his gaze away from me.

And that sadness was exactly what did it at that moment. I decided I didn't want to see him like that anymore. I mustered up all my courage and started talking.

"Hannibal," I said, wanting him to look at me. He did, his eyes still sad but also curious. "I think today was the best time for me to find it."

When I saw the confusion flooding his expression, I swallowed, but continued talking.

"All this, everything we went through, everything _I_ went through, the past month, was exactly what I needed to realize," I said, my voice steady.

Hope filled his expression and turned his face in the most hopeful one I had ever seen. "To realize what?" he asked me softly.

I looked him straight in the eyes when I said with a steady voice, "To realize I still love you."

His eyes widened and he started to walk up to me.

"And I don't care what you are and the things you've done, I should have realized earlier-" I said, but was interrupted by his lips pressing down on mine.

The initial shock of surprise didn't last long, for I closed my eyes and eagerly kissed him back. I put my hands around his neck, while he pulled his arms around my waist, hungrily pulling me closer against him.

While kissing him, everything fell into place, and I couldn't help but think of one thing.

_This is where I belong._


	14. Chapter 14: Be mine

**So, we meet again… ;)**

**First I want to say that I am so sorry for not updating on a regular basis, but I had my exams so I had to study like crazy. (not that that was more fun than writing, but to my mum it is more important…)**

**Also I want to apologize for the fact that this is a very short chapter, but I have my reasons for doing this. In case you've missed it, from this chapter on, the story will have an M rating. That means that this chapter will have mature content, smut to be precise. There will be only the smut in this chapter, so if you don't want to read it, you can just skip it! Considerate of me, no? :) (but that's why it's short)**

**And I will promise to try and write the next chapter as soon as I can, but it shouldn't take too long now, since I have two weeks off from school now, AAHHWW YEAAAHH!**

**I want to thank everyone who reads, follows, reviews and favorites this story, that means a lot to me.**

**This story is being beta'd by the lovely DoeEyedDarling.**

**The song in the beginning of the chapter is one that immediately came to mind when the idea of this chapter formed in my head. You might recognize it, I've mentioned it in the previous chapter. It is a really good song, and I really recommend you check it out! I chose it because I think it fits the romance of Tori and Hannibal perfectly. I hope you will think of it the same way, let me know what you think!**

**Wow, this was a long author's note, let me stop rambling now, and get on with the story!**

**Onwards!**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Be Mine**

_**Bring Me The Horizon**_** – Deathbeds**

_Eyes like a car crash_

_I know I shouldn't look but I can't turn away._

_Body like a whiplash,_

_Salt my wounds but I can't heal the way_

_I feel about you._

_I watch you like a hawk_

_I watch you like I'm gonna tear you limb from limb_

_Will the hunger ever stop?_

_Can we simply starve this sin?_

_That little kiss you stole_

_It held my heart and soul_

_And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate_

_Don't try to fight the storm_

_You'll tumble overboard_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_And on my deathbed, all I'll see is you_

_The life may leave my lungs_

_But my heart will stay with you_

_That little kiss you stole_

_It held my heart and soul_

_And like a ghost in the silence I disappear_

_Don't try to fight the storm_

_You'll tumble overboard_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_The waves will pull us under_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_The waves will pull us under_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_The waves will pull us under_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_That little kiss you stole_

_It held my heart and soul_

_And like a ghost in the silence I disappear_

_Don't try to fight the storm_

_You'll tumble overboard_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

_That little kiss you stole_

_It held my heart and soul_

_And like a deer in the headlights I meet my fate_

_Don't try to fight the storm_

_You'll tumble overboard_

_Tides will bring me back to you_

The kiss was soft at first, but became more and more passionate. When we had to pull apart to catch our breath, he pressed his forehead against mine and gazed into my eyes.

"_Aš myliu tave_," he whispered huskily, and a shiver ran down my spine. A few months ago, he had begun teaching me Lithuanian, lessons which were obviously to come in handy.

"_Aš myliu tave taip pat_," I replied, my voice just as husky as his.

_I love you too._

He looked at me in awe before he pressed his lips on mine again, one hand on the small of my back, pushing me closer against him, the other hand tangled in my hair. He pushed himself against me, while I pushed myself against him, wanting to be as close to him as possible, although I was pressed up against the ladder in a not-so-comfortable way.

He noticed this and took a few steps back, pulling me with him. He guided us over to the chaise-lounge near the windows, where he lay me down gently. He climbed on top of me, but in a way so I wouldn't be uncomfortable. He cupped my face with his hands and kissed me again. I kissed him back just as hungrily, lacing my arms around his neck.

He started to become more and more passionate, as was I, and when I felt his tongue go over my bottom lip, seeking entrance, I didn't hesitate to give it to him. My mouth opened with a sigh, and our tongues entwined in a complicated dance.

My hands slid over his shoulders, and the fabric of his suit irritated me. I slid my fingers under his vest, sliding it off his shoulders. He got the hint and skillfully removed it and threw it aside without lifting his lips from mine. I started to unbutton his waistcoat, at which point he grunted a bit, because he sat straight for a moment to undo himself from the piece of clothing, which obliged him to take his lips from mine. He threw it aside and quickly removed his shirt and tie as well, which left his masculine, muscled chest bare. I hungrily slid my fingers over his firm torso, ending at his face, pulling it back to mine.

While we kissed, I couldn't stop moving my hands over his chest. I loved the way it felt under my touch, and I sighed in satisfaction.

Meanwhile, one of his hands was tangled in my long black hair, while the other one was placed on my waist, where he was rubbing his hand up and down, grabbing at my skin. His hand slowed down, and trailed to the edge of my shirt. He slid his hand underneath it, teasing my skin with his slender fingers. I moaned a bit, which caused him to smirk against my lips.

His fingers moved upwards, so terribly slow, it was almost frustrating. He reached the edge of my bra, but just as I thought he couldn't be more of a tease, he moved his hand downwards again.

I grunted in frustration and broke off our kiss, pushing him a few inches back. He looked me in the eyes, and I could see a glint of amusement in his, which faded when I took of my T-shirt, leaving me in my bra. Then I pulled him back down, hoping he got the hint.

Which he got, because his hand was on my bare stomach again, moving upwards until he finally lay his hand on one of my breasts, groping it through the fabric of my bra.

One of my hands moved from his neck to his hair, and ruffled it up, making it messy, which made me want him even more. He moaned at the feeling of my fingers on his scalp, but then grunted in irritation at the fabric covering my breasts. He moved his hands behind my back and unclasped the lock. I pulled my arms from his body and removed the bra, throwing it somewhere behind me.

He pressed his chest down on mine, still passionately kissing me. I threw my arms around his neck again, loving the feeling of his bare chest against mine, skin to skin.

I kicked of my flats, and swung my legs around his hips, which caused him to moan against my lips. He thrust his crotch into mine, and we both moaned at the sensation.

We went on with this for a while, kissing and him thrusting, until I unwrapped my legs from his body and moved my fingers down his chest, to the button of his trousers. He kicked of his shoes and helped me remove his pants and his boxers.

I gazed at him in admiration for a moment, until it dawned on me that I still had too many clothes on. I moved my hands to the edge of my sweatpants, but he grabbed my wrists and put them on the chaise. His hands moved teasingly over the edge of my pants, after which he hooked his fingers under the fabric of the sweatpants and my underwear at the same time, and he slowly pulled them down. He sat back on his knees, gently taking the trousers off of my body.

When they were off, he gazed upon my body with a look of admiration, love, lust and hunger. He put his hands on my thighs, and spread my legs, while staring into my eyes. He eased himself on me, his length slowly filling me.

I let out something between a gasp and a moan, then I started to moan, loudly, as he started thrusting into me. He too, moaned, and buried his face in my neck, nibbling at my sensitive spot.

We went on for like half an hour, until he started to go faster and faster, harder and harder. He was, just like me, reaching his climax. I moaned louder and louder, and the moment I came, I screamed his name at the top of my lungs.

"Ah, ah, aaaah, AAAH, HANNIBAL!"

At the same time, he groaned and yelled, "TORI!"

After we both came, he dropped himself beside me, taking me in his arms. We were both panting. I lay my head down on his chest, while he had his strong arms around me.

* * *

**Oh. My. God. What have I done? *waves hand at face in attempt to cool down***

**Well. Now it's official, my first smut is written. Please, let me know what you think, because I feel kind of insecure about this…**

**To MissChellina: Your review made me laugh so hard! He didn't eat me (though he tried). Do you really give a shit about me? Ahhww c: I like you too (and your reviews). I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you've read it. If you don't, that's perfectly okay, I understand if people don't want to read this :)**


	15. I am so sorry

Hello everyone, Nele here...

I have to tell you something I know you are going to hate me for, but I have to tell you anyways. Because the way things are going now, that can't continue any longer.

I am putting this story on hiatus.

There, I said it. I just can't continue it for the moment. I've been focusing on my other fic and I think that one is much better written than this one, like this one is just very poorly written, like I could have done a lot of things different and better. With that thought stuck in my head, it is very hard to continue this story. I just don't know what to write anymore.

I don't know how long this hiatus is going to last, or even if I'll ever continue this. That's why I will put this story up for adoption. If there's anyone out there who wants to continue this story instead of me, send me a PM. Feel free to do this, because I think literally everyone can make this story better. I screwed this fic up big time. And I am so, so terribly sorry.

I hope you don't hate me now, but I understand if you do. But I also hope you kinda understand what I mean.

I wish you all the best of luck in life, and bid you farewell.

_**Over and out.**_


	16. IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE PLEASE READ

Hey everyone, Nele here.

I have been thinking a lot lately, and I feel like I have to go and write again. And I will. In the next couple of weeks, I will update my Supernatural story and my Doctor Who fanfic. But I've been thinking about this story as well.

So that's what I wanted to ask you all... Is anyone interested in me doing a rewrite of this story? Under a new name and fanfiction file?

I'm not just going to continue it, because the reason I stopped writing chapters was because I wasn't pleased with it anymore, and that hasn't changed. But I might just do a rewrite. That is, if people are interested enough.

So review or PM me with your opinion please. I would be very grateful to you :D

Okay, that's all for now. Thanks for reading, and like I said, let me know what you think!

BYEEEEEE~

-Nele


	17. Authors note bearing exciting news :)

Helloooo everyone, Nele here!

So I have some exciting news to tell you all...

Some of you may have already seen it, and some of you might just guess what it is I want to tell you.

Anyways, I have finally decided that I _am _going to be making a rewrite of this story, I hope you will be pleased to hear this. Because I am intending to make it much much MUCH better than it was.

SO GO AND CHECK IT OUT! :D

I'll leave this story on my account. I won't delete it for the people who actually liked reading it :) I'll just put it on complete.

You can find the rewrite on my profile under the name 'Fixation'. If it doesn't appear yet, you'll have to wait just a little bit, I only _just _posted the prologue.

YES I have made a prologue, shows how much more invested I am in this story, doesn't it? ;)

Wellll, byee then, and I hope to see you at my new fanfiction!

-Nele


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